The world is changing. Fast.

Unlike many of my contemporaries, I see a lot of good changes along with the bad ones, but no matter how you see it, change is hard.

And the extreme amount of change we’re experiencing now is overwhelming.

It’s especially challenging when so many of the changes seem to be contradictory.

Here are 7 contradictory trends that I’m seeing:

1. We’re becoming more aggressive and more sensitive

It doesn’t matter what side of the theological or political or theological aisle you sit on, people throw insults more quickly than they used to.

Those who see things in another way aren’t just different, or even wrong. Increasingly, they’re being called idiots, snowflakes, bigots, heretics and worse.

Yet it seems like the people most likely to insult others are the first to be offended by even the smallest expressions of opposition to what they believe.

2. We’re becoming more moralistic and less moral

It’s been interesting to see the kickback in Hollywood against the infamous “casting couch” in the last couple of years. With the #MeToo movement, the entertainment industry seems to finally be acknowledging that using power to demand sex from prospective actors is, at best, a betrayal of trust and, in some cases, illegal and prosecutable.

It’s about time.

So why, instead of embracing Hollywood’s newfound sense of morality, are folks in the heartland cynical of this new trend? Because it’s happening on parallel track with a coarsening of the culture from the same people who are wringing their hands about bad behavior.

Plus, it’s being done with 100 percent outrage and zero grace.

We’re not becoming more moral, just more moralistic.

3. We’re becoming more individualistic and more communal

Community organizations are in a signficant decline, including mainstays like kid’s sports leagues and church membership. But at the same time, there’s evidence that committed Christian faith is on the rise. Including among Milennials.

Meanwhile, many of these new individualists are starting to form new affinity groups. Young singles and families are heading back to the downtown areas where they can walk, talk and get to know people. And they want to join with others over common social causes.

People still feel drawn to connect with each other, but they want to do it in a way that celebrates their individualism.

4. We’re becoming more spiritual and more atheistic

The two fastest-rising religious groups in our culture are those claiming no religion and those claiming to be spiritual, but not religious.

We’re becoming a culture of the nominally atheistic and the generically spiritual. Sometimes the same person claims to be both.

This spiritual vacuum may actually be at the heart of the other contradictions. After all, if we can’t make up our minds about the ultimate questions of life, reality and eternity, how can we find a place to stand anywhere else?

5. We’re breaking from tradition and embracing heritage

New generations aren’t working, parenting, worshiping or shopping the way their parents or grandparents did.

But that doesn’t mean they want to disconnect from their roots. People are more interested than ever in exploring their ethnic heritage through tools like 23 and Me and Ancestry.com. Vinyl records, classic toys and vintage clothes are all making a comeback.

New generations want to build on the past, but don’t want to be tied down to it.

6. We’re becoming more digital and more analog

You know that group of kids that seems to be tied umbilically to their phones? They probably also spend a lot of downtime painting clay pots, making scrapbooks, or repurposing old furniture.

And they love the personal attention they get when they walk into the most tech-savvy places of all – the Apple store.

7. We’re becoming more empowered and more fatalistic

One of the underpinnings of populist hashtag movements like #MeToo, #TimesUp and even #MAGA is the recognition that every person has agency. We’re our own people, and we deserve to make decisions for ourselves, whether the prevailing powers like it or not.

At the same time, conspiracy theorists are coming out of the woodwork to tell us that the entire game is fixed by invisible powers beyond our control.

We have autonomy and we’re all puppets to unseen powers? No wonder we’re more confused than ever.

7 Ways To Respond With Integrity

How can all these paradoxes exist at the same time and not drive us crazy?

Here’s some good news. God is neither surprised nor confused by our culture's contradictory trends.

And there is no better way to respond to these cultural shifts in a healthy, sane, redemptive way than by following the ancient wisdom of the teachings of Jesus (also known as the Christian faith.)

1. Appreciate the forward steps but don’t fall for the trends

It’s easy to see what’s happening outside the church and be critical. Usually for one of two reasons: 1) they’re not doing it the way we would, or 2) we’re worried that if we approve of anything they do, it will lead to wholesale acceptance of everything they do. That ol’ slippery slope.

But when forward motion is being made (like the pushback against the casting couch, and a growing interest in spiritual things) we need to affirm it. This is similar to what the Apostle Paul did in Athens when he used their interest in “an unknown god” to tell them about Christ (Acts 17:3).

Instead of leading to acceptance of wrong ideas and actions, expressing an appreciation for even the smallest forward steps can build a bridge of communication and respect that might open up an opportunity to share Christ with them.

2. Reaffirm our principles, but don’t demand them of others

Of all the trends I mentioned, the resurgence of generic spirituality is the one that sets my teeth on edge the most.

Being spiritual is not enough. And being vaguely spiritual is about as bad as it gets, biblically speaking.

So, while we can appreciate the open door it can offer, we can’t give in to it. As believers, we need to know what we believe and why. If we compromise our core values we’ll have nothing to offer a world that’s as compromised as it’s ever been.

But that doesn’t mean we can insist on those values for others. Nowhere in the Bible are we urged to require nonbelievers to act like believers.

But there is something very assuring about seeing believers take a stand, even to those who don’t share that stand. Telling people “no matter what you do, I’ll be here when you’re ready,” is very reassuring. And the integrity behind it may be our most appealing characteristic in the coming decades.

3. Strive to learn, more than to win

There are two ways to respond when faced with an opposing viewpoint.

Try to win, or try to learn.

Most of us react with some combination of the two, but we’re always better off when we try to learn first.

• Winning is fun. Learning is hard.
• Winning is short-term. Learning is long-term.
• Winning builds barriers. Learning creates opportunities.
• Winning makes enemies. Learning makes friends.
• Winning creates losers. Learning gives us influence.

It’s always better, for ourselves and for the sake of the gospel, to take the hard path of creating long-term opportunities to make friends that we can influence, than to build short-term barriers that create winners, losers and enemies.

4. Respond with grace, not anger

If you look under the surface of an angry person, you’ll find a hurting person.

When we respond to anger with anger, we’re actually responding to pain with more pain.

Grace is different. Grace heals.

And grace will draw more people to repentance than anger ever will.

5. Get to know your Bible better

Christians need to approach the Bible like Christians. Of course.

But we often have little, if any, understanding of how most non-believers approach the Bible.

Stories that seem normal to us are strange to them. Commandments we take for granted are confusing for them. Questions we don’t even see any more are huge issues for them.

Don’t run from the hard passages of scripture. Acknowledge, explore and embrace them. Know them well enough to be able engage in conversation with others about them.

6. Become more familiar with paradox

The Bible is filled with paradox.

When nonbelievers and new believers ask questions about these issues, they’re not being rebellious or cynical. They’re genuinely concerned – as they ought to be.

We can’t be dismissive of their questions or arrogant in our responses if we hope to have any influence in their lives.

It’s important to engage in conversation with about the real issues they raise and, when necessary, live with the tension of unanswered questions.

7. Walk in integrity, humility and repentance

Some of the paradoxes and contradictions that non-believers have the hardest time with are not in the Bible, they’re in the lives of Christians.

Everyone lives in some ways that are contradictory to what we say we believe. So we need to strive to live with integrity, speak with humility and offer true repentance when we’ve sinned. Not just to God but to the people who have been hurt.

“I’m sorry, I was wrong, I’ll try to do better next time” may be the greatest testimony some people will ever hear from us.

Finally, be prepared with gentleness and respect

As believers (and especially as church leaders) we need to be ready to listen to the concerns of people who seem to be living contradictory lives.

Thankfully, this is something the scriptures have prepared us for.

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” (1 Peter 3:15 – NIV)

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