Nothing I know starts fights faster than the subject of peacemaking. In principle, of course, everyone is for it. But it's amazing how defensive and hostile people get trying to make peace.

The situation reminds me of when the current interest in small groups was just beginning. Speaking at a gathering that included many small-group fans, I mentioned I felt the dangers of small groups outweighed any potential benefits. Many wouldn't speak to me afterward.

To me, this demonstrated what I was trying to prove: those particular small groups, at least, weren't based on love but fear. People weren't there for what they could give but for emotional security. By saying, "I love you," they were trying to ensure their own protection, hoping talk of love would keep people from hurting them. They were really expressing a fear of, not a love for, other people. Relationships were based only on a negotiated nonviolence.

So when a foreigner came in and expressed a different view, they joined together in ...