I trudged to the mailbox after a draining counseling session. I hoped to find a letter from the search committee of a big church. Or a large care package with giant homemade cookies and cheery notes from grateful church members. Or a check made out to me with an attached note: "Dear Pastor, consider this $1,000 a small token of our love for you. … "

No such luck.

The mailbox contained two medical bills from my wife's surgery, a phone bill, and the quarterly car insurance premium. Seeing the medical bills made my head throb. The church treasurer recently had bounced a check to the insurance company; we weren't sure if my wife's surgery was covered. The pile felt heavy as I dumped it on the kitchen counter.

In seventeen years of marriage and ministry, my wife, Joy, and I have had our share of "bad mail days." Each one raises the "I wonder" questions about God's provision for us.

I WONDER IF GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR MY NEEDS

When stress piles up as high as my stack of bills, I start wondering ...