I had nothing to hide. No reprehensible behavior I was struggling with, no glaring character defects. In fact, I was feeling pretty self-righteous. Doug Self, with whom I've been meeting weekly since 1976, and I were sitting comfortably in front of the fireplace at the Redstone Inn, enjoying our early cup of coffee as usual. We filled each other in on our week's events as usual. We enjoyed the peaceful ambiance as usual.
Then out of the blue, Doug said, "Louis, I have something for you from the Lord."
Not as usual.
Doug proceeded to point out some ungodly attitudes in me that he'd been noticing. He had been hearing me be critical and unloving.
I knew what he was referring to. Frankly, I wasn't interested in re-evaluating my position or changing it.
The encounter reminded me why I need accountability-and why I resist it. I find accountability difficult for at least four reasons.
I fear rejection
"If you really knew what I'm like inside, you wouldn't want to be seen ...1