As I hung up the telephone, I realized Jerry had done it to me again. This round lasted no more than five, maybe ten minutes, but my doubts lingered for days.
Jerry and his family were on-again-off-again worshipers. Of late, they were off again. I had called to express concern, to say they were missed. Jerry informed me that if I really cared, "You would have called a long time ago. And you wouldn't pay so much attention to the rich folks in the church. And you would care more about us in the church than the unchurched."
What conflict can do
Such conflict can negatively affect me:
- It pushes me away from sound judgment. I tend to want to please people and avoid conflict. Conflict pushes me, like an opposing magnetic force, away from sound, godly judgment. Instead, I am magnetized toward self-doubt, stubbornness, self-pity, self-indulgence, or solemn resignation.
I think, How could he say I didn't care? Maybe I am a poor pastor. I probably should have called sooner. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a pastor.