Jump directly to the Content

Freed from Needing the Numbers

In grade school I played baseball for several years. Only once did I pitch. After several other pitchers had taken their lumps, the manager summoned me to the mound. It was awful. I threw one ball after another, walking the batters, loading the bases. Then I walked in run after run.

I don't remember if I started crying, but I know I felt like it. I died a dozen deaths that day, my ego mortally wounded each time my pitch skidded in futility to the backstop, each time the umpire yelled out my failure, "Ball four," for all to hear. Finally, after far too long, my coach walked to the mound and mercifully took away the baseball.

Pastoring a church that is stagnant or declining feels like that. Everyone (including God) is looking to you to save the situation—or a few souls—and you're not doing it. You feel like a fool and a failure; worse, you're doing it in front of an audience.

Sometimes I dream I'm naked in a church meeting. The shame in these dreams is overwhelming. Proverbs ...

May/June
Support Our Work

Subscribe to CT for less than $4.25/month

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Related
Is My Church an Endangered Species?
Is My Church an Endangered Species?
Responding to the cultural and economic threats many congregations will face.
From the Magazine
How One Family’s Faith Survived Three Generations in the Pulpit
How One Family’s Faith Survived Three Generations in the Pulpit
With a front-row seat to their parents’ failures and burnout, a long line of pastor’s kids still went into ministry. Why?
Editor's Pick
Come Ye Pastors, Heavy Laden
Come Ye Pastors, Heavy Laden
Learning to walk under the weight of ministry's many hats.
close