Jump directly to the Content

The Day I Lost My Nerve … and How I Got It Back

One Sunday, in the middle of the third point of my sermon, I lost my nerve.

For two days, doubts about the usefulness of the message had whispered darkly in the back of my mind, but I pushed ahead, ever the good soldier, ever mindful that Sunday was coming.

But on Sunday, at a precise point in time, I mentally bolted! Outwardly I kept preaching—faster, I think, and, perhaps, in a lifeless manner; I was gunning for the benediction. Inwardly, though, I was AWOL. I checked out.

What happened?

I had lost faith—the willful act of believing God is in the sermon, that he can use even my words. I lost my nerve.

After the benediction I made a beeline down the aisle and through the foyer to my study, without so much as a nod at an usher. I closed the door, locked it, and crumbled. Another service started in a few minutes, and I didn't know what to do. What I did, of course—what all preachers do—was preach once again, as well as I could with renewed dependence (a desperate ...

March
Support Our Work

Subscribe to CT for less than $4.25/month

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Related
Your Preaching Is Not God’s Work. You Are God’s Work.
Your Preaching Is Not God’s Work. You Are God’s Work.
How inner transformation shapes outward proclamation.
From the Magazine
The Evil Ideas Behind October 7
The Evil Ideas Behind October 7
The Hamas attacks in Israel have a grotesque ideological history and deserve unflinching moral judgment.
Editor's Pick
What Christians Miss When They Dismiss Imagination
What Christians Miss When They Dismiss Imagination
Understanding God and our world needs more than bare reason and experience.
close