John was a man with a mission—to oust the pastor. He had a long-standing grudge and refused to let go of it.

John would sidle up to newcomers and say, "Does the pastor strike you as a little cold? Does it bother you that he votes on his own salary? Did you hear about the squabble last year? Let me fill you in on what really happened."

John rehashed his complaints with each new staffer and board member. If the leader didn't take his side, John accused him of covering up the issues.

My turn came one hot, summer evening. I had heard about John's tactic. I refused to be part of any gossip. To each accusation, I said, "John, you need to deal with your bitterness. I won't listen to any more until you do that." John has yet to do that, and now he considers me part of the cover-up.

Church staff, board members, and leaders are natural lightning rods for complainers. Afraid of voicing objections publicly or confronting the pastor directly, the disgruntled often come to us. Serving in staff positions ...