Jump directly to the Content

Leader's Insight: Kids and the Church's Dirty Laundry

How much should the family know about the ugly stuff at church?

Tight lips protect the family.

As a newlywed pastor more than twenty years ago, I learned I should not routinely dump all the problems of ministry on my husband. I think it was a wise decision.

Now our entire family is active in the church, including our two teenagers. It is important for me as a pastor to encourage each one to employ his or her gifts in specific areas of service. However, we do not make church issues and problems the center of our conversation at home.

In order to maintain appropriate boundaries of confidentiality, I limit my family's access to church information. I tend not to discuss church problems with my husband unless they directly affect his participation, or if I need his advice. We try to shield our children from any conversation about such problems, again, unless their participation in the ministry is directly affected.

We do, however, encourage our children to share with us issues they may have with peers or adults at church. I do not want my children in the position ...

Subscriber access only You have reached the end of this Article Preview

To continue reading, subscribe to Christianity Today magazine. Subscribers have full digital access to CT Pastors articles.

Support Our Work

Subscribe to CT for less than $4.25/month

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Pause, Refresh.
Pause, Refresh.
An Interview with Chris Maxwell
From the Magazine
Who Will Pay Africa’s Medical Bills?
Who Will Pay Africa’s Medical Bills?
Locals are increasingly running African mission hospitals. The next challenge: keeping foreign donors.
Editor's Pick
When Churches Put Love at the Center
When Churches Put Love at the Center
How "beloved community" helps us envision tangible ways to embody kingdom values.