Last summer, a friend of mine walked away from the church because he felt like his struggle with homosexuality was a non-issue for his church. There was no confrontation that pushed him away - hardly anyone at his church even knew his situation. But it was an overwhelming feeling that the church had no need to acknowledge this struggle.

Like many, this friend began to rethink his sexuality during college, questioning his assumptions, accepting certain facets of who he felt himself to be, and basking in diversity and acceptance. When he came home on breaks, he entered into a strange world. Home and church life tied directly to the person he "used" to be. And college was his comfort zone, the place where he could ask the serious questions about identity.

After a few years of hearing that his primary identity resided in his status as a marginalized homosexual, he graduated college, came home, and began to think again about what it meant to be gay. For the first time, he had to do it on his ...