At Confessions of a Small-Church Pastor, Chuck Warnock offers an example from his church that backs up Lyle Schaller's mantra, "New people need new groups." Schaller reasoned that, since existing groups tend to resist newcomers, churches must create new ones.

Warnock and his wife started a new class in their church a year ago:

The intent was to gather all our younger adults who did not attend Sunday School into a new class just for them. Instead we actually attracted new people. Our class of about 12 now has all new members or guests, with one exception, who have joined since we have been here in Chatham.

That makes a lot of sense to me. Even a group that is intentionally welcoming to outsiders will have built-in obstacles. We develop a rapport with people we've been around, in part through our pool of shared memories. Inside jokes are irresistible, for instance, but can be a quick turn-off for others.

Newcomers can also be thrown by an unwritten social code that, developed over time, is invisible ...