A friend called the other day asking my impression of Senator Edward Kennedy's funeral.

I praised it: the priest's sermon, the Scripture readings, the moving remarks of the senator's sons, the magnificent music, and the beauty of the sanctuary. The caller concurred with my assessment and then said, "I was surprised by the service because when I was young, I was taught not to like him."

"Taught not to like him." The comment bothered me for several days. Exactly how is that done? I wondered. Certainly Kennedy, like all of us, was flawed. But how are we taught to dislike particular flawed people and not others? Perhaps part of the answer lies in words shaped into gossip, slander, and reflexive opinions expressed without regard to the damage they cause.

I grew up a pastor's son. My father's church, located next to our home, was often used for meetings of pastors belonging to a certain denomination that was passing through considerable theological controversy. ...