When Rich and Tina came to my office, their marriage was in shards. Like most desperate couples that come to me for pastoral counsel, their story was a quagmire of failed expectations, self-doubt, old wounds, immaturity, and misunderstanding. As we spoke, it was clear that Tina was willing to do anything to save the relationship. Rich on the other hand was accustomed to flight. The abandonment he suffered as a child had now become his primary tool for coping.

After an hour together, it became clear that if this couple did not have some space and time to reflect, their vows and newly born daughter would soon also be abandoned. I suggested a redemptive separation for the sake of redeeming their marriage.

Chris and Margaret were another couple on the cliff of divorce. The serial adulterous affairs Chris had made common place in his work life had recently broken the boundaries of their personal friend group and come to light within the church. Our pastoral team suggested a directed redemptive ...