Jump directly to the Content

When My Daughter Said, 'I'm Gay'

Confessions of an evangelical pastor.

It was Saturday night on Valentine's Day weekend, and my wife and I were watching the late news. Our daughter Tess walked into the room, handed us a note, and walked away.

The note said, "I am gay. I am happy this way. And if you really love me, you won't try to change me, and you will not try to talk with me about this."

Tess was 16, a junior in high school. The dreams we had for her life changed dramatically that night. Our lives did too.

She never chose to be a pastor's kid, but she was one. And she had experienced some significant struggles. Now, with one bold stroke, she let us know that whatever choices we had made in life so far, she was making her own choices from here on out.

That night was harder for me than the nights when either of my parents died. Something truly died within me that night. And yet something new was born.

After reading the note, tears flowed. Cheryl and I looked at each other and knew we had to respond. No matter what the ...

Subscriber access only You have reached the end of this Article Preview

To continue reading, subscribe to Christianity Today magazine. Subscribers have full digital access to CT Pastors articles.

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Related
Which Medium Is the Message?
Which Medium Is the Message?
The media we use affects how people perceive the message.
From the Magazine
Why Church Can’t Be the Same After the Pandemic
Why Church Can’t Be the Same After the Pandemic
As we gather again, congregants bring the weight of trauma and tensions built up over more than a year spent apart.
Editor's Pick
5 Ways Collaborative Sermon Writing Can Help Pastors
5 Ways Collaborative Sermon Writing Can Help Pastors
How a cross-cultural experiment with a half-dozen church leaders offered me a fresh perspective.
close