Jump directly to the Content

When My Daughter Said, 'I'm Gay'

Confessions of an evangelical pastor.

It was Saturday night on Valentine's Day weekend, and my wife and I were watching the late news. Our daughter Tess walked into the room, handed us a note, and walked away.

The note said, "I am gay. I am happy this way. And if you really love me, you won't try to change me, and you will not try to talk with me about this."

Tess was 16, a junior in high school. The dreams we had for her life changed dramatically that night. Our lives did too.

She never chose to be a pastor's kid, but she was one. And she had experienced some significant struggles. Now, with one bold stroke, she let us know that whatever choices we had made in life so far, she was making her own choices from here on out.

That night was harder for me than the nights when either of my parents died. Something truly died within me that night. And yet something new was born.

After reading the note, tears flowed. Cheryl and I looked at each other and knew we had to respond. No matter what the ...

January/February
Support Our Work

Subscribe to CT for less than $4.25/month

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Related
Between Solitude and Effective Ministry
Between Solitude and Effective Ministry
The beginning of the school year marks, at many churches, the beginning of a new season of ministry. Children get "promoted" to the next grade level—which in the church I grew up in, was a big deal.
From the Magazine
In Christian Publishing, ‘Platform’ Is Being Weighed and Found Wanting
In Christian Publishing, ‘Platform’ Is Being Weighed and Found Wanting
Favoring big-name authors and “influencers” might be good for the bottom line, but not always for the books—and readers—themselves.
Editor's Pick
Come Ye Pastors, Heavy Laden
Come Ye Pastors, Heavy Laden
Learning to walk under the weight of ministry's many hats.
close