Like most things in my life, I learned the hard way that I needed to bring coaching into my ministry. I was heading home one evening at 6:30 p.m. and the weather matched my mood: dark, stormy, and miserable! As I approached my front door, I looked up to see my wife there, arms crossed. I was tempted to turn around and avoid the conversation I knew was brewing. For weeks she had been dropping hints about my work schedule; I was not maintaining a consistent day off, working most days from 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. The night she met me at the door was one of her least favorite kinds of nights, where dinner would be a pit stop before racing out for yet another meeting at church.

As I trudged in, I quietly began to prepare my defense. Didn’t she understand how important serving the Lord was? Didn’t she know how much everyone depended on me to do my job well? I knew defense wasn’t enough. I wanted to lash out and attack the areas in her life that needed work. But I couldn’t ...