You pull into a restaurant parking lot to meet a friend for lunch. You’re about to discuss why he and his family are considering leaving the church.

You are preparing for tonight’s elder meeting regarding the direction of the expansion project. It’s a meeting poised to be tense and divisive.

You are about to ask a key volunteer to step down. Her immaturity is hurting the rest of the team.

You’re responding to an email of a long-time member who expressed deep disappointment because he “isn’t being fed anymore.”

These interactions can make your heart pump hard and fast, put a knot in the stomach, and send you to a restless night’s sleep. They are crucial conversations, and they occur with excruciating frequency in ministry.

I’ve entered these situations dozens of times feeling ill-equipped and unsure. I’ve often walked out of these meetings kicking myself, wondering why I said this or didn’t say that. As important as they are, ...