All sorrow and suffering are designed to teach us lessons we would not or could not learn in any other way.
Max Heindel

Three of the most painful words pastors ever hear are "Pastor, I'm leaving." The message they convey is the opposite of what we want to hear. The temptation to take the news personally is almost irresistible. We wonder, What did I do or fail to do that's causing them to leave? And then comes the agonizing question, How could they do this to me? The hurt and self-doubt never get easier, even though the situation is inevitable.

John Cionca, dean of students at Bethel Seminary and former pastor of Southwood Baptist Church in Woodbury, New Jersey, asked fellow pastors how they have handled the pain of losing members and what lessons they have learned from the experience about making something good come out of it. He tells what has helped, and he also suggests how best to handle the situation so as to maximize the possibility that those leaving may someday return.

When Jack, ...

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