I had just gotten off the phone with a man on the church board. He had called to warn me that my leading antagonist, also a member of the board, was going to confront me that evening at the board meeting. He was going to recommend the board reverse its previous decisions affirming the direction and mission of the church.

Without warning, my blood pressure went through the roof and I yelled, "I don't believe this is happening. This means war!" My secretary came running into my office and asked what was going on. I told her, "We're about to have the battle of this church's life at tonight's board meeting."

Over the next few minutes, I turned into an infantry commander as I stormed through the office barking out orders to the staff. I wanted to gather damaging information about this board member, and I knew exactly where he was most vulnerable—his giving record. I asked the financial secretary to give me a printout of the man's contributions over the past two years. The report reinforced my ...