I cannot allow the fear of manipulation to be a rationalization for not doing the hard work of instilling motivation.
—Fred Smith, Sr.

Irecently heard a pastor tell about a wealthy oil man who called and said, "Reverend, I've never had much time for religion, but I'm getting older, and maybe I ought to make my peace with the church. I'd like to start by giving you a $20,000 check."

The preacher said, "I immediately extended to him the right hand of Christian fellowship."

I don't think he was joking.

The exchange was an example of manipulation, which despite being repudiated still manages to find its way into the ministry.

Manipulation is often used because it's effective—it just plain works! In this case, the church got a $20,000 windfall. But manipulation comes with a price. The pastor manipulated the fellow into believing he was getting Christian fellowship, but the man also manipulated the preacher by buying his way in, and that, as we all know, is no real relationship at all.

In contrast, ...