{"id":13014,"date":"2008-07-15T10:10:27","date_gmt":"2008-07-15T10:10:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/2008\/07\/15\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/"},"modified":"2008-07-15T10:10:27","modified_gmt":"2008-07-15T10:10:27","slug":"how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","title":{"rendered":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?"},"content":{"rendered":"

We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We have seen God turn the whole tide of a marriage around with the willing heart of only one spouse—the perseverance of one spouse to hold firmly to the rope of reconciliation that God extends through his son Jesus Christ. Time and time again in his ministry, Jesus focused on working with what was placed before him. <\/p>\n\n

Take, for example, the story we commonly refer to as “the feeding of the 5,000.” Unlike his disciples, Jesus focused on using what God had given them, not what appeared to be an impossible circumstance. “‘How many loaves do you have?’ Jesus asked”<\/em> (Mark 8:5). He took the five loaves and two fish and, through the power of prayer, met the need against all odds. <\/p>\n\n

Reconciliation is possible, even with an unwilling spouse. Many available resources are specifically designed with this seemingly impossible situation in mind. Joe and Michelle Williams,of Reconciling God’s Way, in Modesto, California, have specifically designed resources to use when only one spouse is willing to reconcile the relationship. Their resources can be accessed through their website at www.reconcilingGodsway.org<\/a>. In addition, there are other resources available through the Reconciling Troubled Marriages Focus Group<\/em>, which is a part of the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM)<\/em> at www.amfmonline.com<\/a>. We encourage individual spouses and pastors to start with what they’ve got and “pray it forward” from there. There is no relationship so shattered that it lies beyond God’s restorative reach!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We have seen God turn the whole tide of a marriage around with the willing heart of only one spouse—the perseverance of one spouse to hold firmly to the rope of reconciliation that God extends Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tax_ctp_authors":[2670],"tax_ctp_books":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[142],"tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory":[],"tax_ctp_field_guides":[],"tax_ctp_format":[131],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[],"tax_publications":[156],"tax_ctp_tags":[3698,3960,3961,4792],"tax_ctp_topics":[],"class_list":["post-13014","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tax_ctp_authors-penny-bragg","tax_publications-leadership-journal","tax_ctp_tags-counseling","tax_ctp_tags-family","tax_ctp_tags-family-ministry","tax_ctp_tags-relationship"],"acf":{"scripture_references":null},"yoast_head":"\nHow can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn't? - CT Pastors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn't? - CT Pastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"CT Pastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CTPastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/12\/ogimage.png?resize=1200,628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Clint and Penny Bragg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@CTpastors\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@CTpastors\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"CMS Admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/85018388509706870f1ad6829069e1a3\"},\"headline\":\"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\"},\"wordCount\":293,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\",\"name\":\"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn't? - CT Pastors\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00\",\"description\":\"We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/\",\"name\":\"CT Pastors\",\"description\":\"Timeless wisdom for pastors with forward-thinking solutions\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Christianity Today\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/08\/logo_ctpastors_black.svg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/08\/logo_ctpastors_black.svg\",\"caption\":\"Christianity Today\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CTPastors\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/CTpastors\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/85018388509706870f1ad6829069e1a3\",\"name\":\"CMS Admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7b746e0581dc75423e361301b595167f5234d819bbff5b0a82621db777cbfeb9?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7b746e0581dc75423e361301b595167f5234d819bbff5b0a82621db777cbfeb9?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"CMS Admin\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn't? - CT Pastors","description":"We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn't? - CT Pastors","og_description":"We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We","og_url":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","og_site_name":"CT Pastors","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CTPastors","article_published_time":"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1200,"height":628,"url":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/12\/ogimage.png?resize=1200,628","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Clint and Penny Bragg","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@CTpastors","twitter_site":"@CTpastors","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/"},"author":{"name":"CMS Admin","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/85018388509706870f1ad6829069e1a3"},"headline":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?","datePublished":"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00","dateModified":"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/"},"wordCount":293,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization"},"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","url":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","name":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn't? - CT Pastors","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#website"},"datePublished":"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00","dateModified":"2008-07-15T10:10:27+00:00","description":"We—and others who are working in the area of reconciling troubled marriages—hear this question from pastors and couples quite frequently. We","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/","name":"CT Pastors","description":"Timeless wisdom for pastors with forward-thinking solutions","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization","name":"Christianity Today","url":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/08\/logo_ctpastors_black.svg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/08\/logo_ctpastors_black.svg","caption":"Christianity Today"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CTPastors","https:\/\/x.com\/CTpastors"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/85018388509706870f1ad6829069e1a3","name":"CMS Admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7b746e0581dc75423e361301b595167f5234d819bbff5b0a82621db777cbfeb9?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7b746e0581dc75423e361301b595167f5234d819bbff5b0a82621db777cbfeb9?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"CMS Admin"}}]}},"parsely":{"version":"1.1.0","canonical_url":"https:\/\/christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","smart_links":{"inbound":0,"outbound":0},"traffic_boost_suggestions_count":0,"meta":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?","url":"http:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\/"},"thumbnailUrl":"","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":""},"articleSection":"Uncategorized","author":"Clint and Penny Bragg","creator":"Clint and Penny Bragg","publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"CT Pastors","logo":""},"keywords":[],"dateCreated":"2008-07-15T10:10:27Z","datePublished":"2008-07-15T10:10:27Z","dateModified":"2008-07-15T10:10:27Z"},"rendered":"<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"wp-parsely-metadata\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@type\":\"NewsArticle\",\"headline\":\"How can a pastor or church leader minister to a couple when one spouse wants counseling help and the other doesn’t?\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.christianitytoday.com\\\/pastors\\\/content\\\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\\\/\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.christianitytoday.com\\\/pastors\\\/content\\\/how-can-pastor-or-church-leader-minister-to-couple-when\\\/\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"url\":\"\"},\"articleSection\":\"Uncategorized\",\"author\":\"Clint and Penny Bragg\",\"creator\":\"Clint and Penny Bragg\",\"publisher\":{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"name\":\"CT Pastors\",\"logo\":\"\"},\"keywords\":[],\"dateCreated\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27Z\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27Z\",\"dateModified\":\"2008-07-15T10:10:27Z\"}<\/script>","tracker_url":"https:\/\/cdn.parsely.com\/keys\/christianitytoday.com\/p.js"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","byline":{"writer_byline":"Clint and Penny Bragg","writer_byline_override":""},"primary_category":null,"secondary_categories":[],"featured_video":null,"related_articles":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13014","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13014"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13015,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13014\/revisions\/13015"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_authors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_authors?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_books","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_books?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_categories","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_categories?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_field_guides","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_field_guides?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_format","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_format?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_multimedia","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_multimedia?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_point_editor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_point_editor?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_publications","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_publications?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_tags?post=13014"},{"taxonomy":"tax_ctp_topics","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tax_ctp_topics?post=13014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}