{"id":16577,"date":"2004-10-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2004-10-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/2004\/10\/01\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/"},"modified":"2004-10-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T01:50:12","slug":"leadership-surveys-church-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Leadership Surveys Church Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\n\t\t\t<strong>I<\/strong>f five pastors are sitting at a table, in most cases all five of them can tell the story of a major conflict in their church, and one of them can describe a battle that&#39;s raging right now. Conflict is common in the body of Christ, but must it be debilitating? Disagreements are to be expected, but must the way Christians settle their disputes-too often nasty-be our defining characteristic?<\/p>\n\n<p>Our recent survey says it shouldn&#39;t, but it often is.<\/p>\n\n<p>We also have good news. While 95% of pastors report having experienced conflict, and 20% are enduring conflict right now, almost all of the pastors we polled reported at least some positive outcomes.<\/p>\n\n<p>In spring 2004, Leadership surveyed 506 readers who are pastors. The results have an accuracy of plus or minus 4.36 points.<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead1\">What do we fight about?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Jokes about the color of the carpet aside, who makes the decisions is a big issue in most churches. In our survey, pastors checked all the sources of conflict from a list (see graphic, right) and 85% of them cited control as a leading contributor. Matters of doctrine or cultural issues ranked low compared to power and personal preference. When we asked pastors to name the most likely cause, again control (44%) outdistanced the other factors, with vision\/direction a remote second (22%).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Size matters: We found this especially true in congregations of 200 or less. Some 49% of pastors of smaller churches said control is the number one problem, compared to less than one-third (31%) of churches of 500 or more.<\/p>\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-regular\"><table><tbody>\n\t\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead2\">Who knew about the conflict?<\/h2>\n\n\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>A small group<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>46%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>A large group<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>30%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Most of congregation<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>24%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\n<\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>Congregation size also affects how widespread the conflict becomes. The old comment, &quot;There were just a few people behind it&quot; is often the case. But we found this interesting statistic: Pastors of larger churches were more likely to say only a small group of people knew, but in congregations under 200, the news was not so easily contained. Congregants were the likely ones to report conflict to the pastor (77%), but in larger churches, church staff were the first sentinels (51% in churches over 500).<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-regular\"><table><tbody>\n\t\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead2\">How did you feel about the conflict?<\/h2>\n\n\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Angry <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>51%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Defensive<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>51%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Overwhelmed<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>34%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Shocked <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>32%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Confident<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>21%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Compassionate<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>19%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Sympathetic <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>9%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Peaceful<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>6%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>Apathetic<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>2%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\n<\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignleft size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"179\" src=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-16578\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg?resize=142,169 142w, https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg?resize=82,98 82w, https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg?resize=134,160 134w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><p>About four in ten pastors (38%) told us they had left a pastoral position due, at least in part, to conflict. The harsh initial feelings and residual hurts are not easily assuaged, and many pastors move on because of it.<\/p>\n\n<p>We wondered how often the conflict becomes personal, focusing on the pastor or his family rather than a church issue. A great majority of respondents (71%) said the conflict eventually centered on them-their vision or pastoral style-but only a sliver (8%) said conflict focused on their family members.<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead1\">How did you manage the conflict?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Our chart shows that many pastors try to handle disputes privately, at least at first. This is one of those &quot;check all that apply&quot; questions, and it seems to indicate that most pastors are attempting to use the Matthew 18 method of beginning one-on-one before expanding to elder and whole-church involvement. When pastors felt the conflicts were personal in nature, they were more likely to rely on informal resolution, taking the process public less than one-fourth of the time (23%). In the anecdotal portion of the survey, many pastors said they wish they had responded more quickly to the conflict. Giving a sore spot time to heal more often allowed it to fester, we were told.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-regular\"><table><tbody>\n\t\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead2\">What were the positive outcomes of the conflict?<\/h2>\n\n\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>I&#39;m wiser <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>72%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>purifying process<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>44%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>better defined vision<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>42%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>better communication with congregation <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>35%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>stronger relationships<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>30%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>reconciliation<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>16%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>growth in attendance <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>16%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\n<\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>Will any good come of this? Respondents to our poll said yes (94%), although the outcomes are often within the pastor, or spiritual in nature. We asked, &quot;What were your feelings about the outcomes of the conflict?&quot; We were encouraged that the top answer was stronger (60%), followed by hopeful (35%), and thankful (32%).<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>The pastors&#39; residual negative feelings were at the bottom of the &quot;feelings charts,&quot; but they are still noteworthy because one-fourth of our colleagues say they are broken because of the conflict (26%), and confused (16%). And one in ten (9%) reminded us that the conflict isn&#39;t over.<\/p>\n\n<p>Some hopeful signs, pastors who stayed after a conflict were less likely to describe themselves as broken (15% compared to 42%). And pastors of larger churches were more likely to say they felt hopeful afterward.<\/p>\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-regular\"><table><tbody>\n\t\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead2\">And the negative outcomes?<\/h2>\n\n\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>damaged relationships <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>68%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>sadness<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>58%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>decline in attendance<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>32%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>leaders left the church <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>32%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>loss of trust<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>31%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>bitterness<\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>29%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t<td>loss of communication with congregation <\/td>\n\t\t\t<td><strong>3%<\/strong><\/td>\n\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\n<\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>Apart from the pastor&#39;s personal hurts, the collateral damage of conflict in the church is mostly in relationships. By the way congregations handle disputes, personal friendships are damaged in more than two-thirds of the cases; for almost as many a sadness remains long after the fighting has ceased.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>Like the 38% of pastors who eventually leave, a similar number of members and leaders look for a new church.<\/p>\n\n<p>Conflict is inevitable, no matter the size of the group. While the stuff of church jokes, conflict is rarely funny when you&#39;re living through it, but eventually&hellip;<\/p>\n\n<p>Remember the one about the man who was stranded on a deserted island? After some months the rescue boat arrived. The captain asked the castaway, &quot;What are those three huts?&quot;<\/p>\n\n<p>&quot;That&#39;s my house and that&#39;s my church,&quot; the man answered, pointing.<\/p>\n\n<p>&quot;And what&#39;s that one over there?&quot;<\/p>\n\n<p>&quot;Oh, that&#39;s where I used to go to church.&quot;<\/p>\n\n<p> <\/p>\n\n<p class=\"is-style-article-copyright\">Copyright &copy; 2004 by the author or Christianity Today\/<em>Leadership<\/em> Journal.<a href=\"http:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/le\/help\/permissionsprivacy\/permissions.html#answer\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"copyright\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here<\/a> for reprint information on<em>Leadership<\/em> Journal.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If five pastors are sitting at a table, in most cases all five of them can tell the story of a major conflict in their church, and one of them can describe a battle that&#39;s raging right now. Conflict is common in the body of Christ, but must it be debilitating? Disagreements are to be <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\">Read more&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tax_ctp_authors":[1544],"tax_ctp_books":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[160],"tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory":[],"tax_ctp_field_guides":[],"tax_ctp_format":[131],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[],"tax_publications":[688,689,156],"tax_ctp_tags":[3609,3610,3666,4792,5074],"tax_ctp_topics":[],"class_list":["post-16577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tax_ctp_authors-eric-reed","tax_publications-2004-leadership-journal","tax_publications-fall_2004-leadership-journal","tax_publications-leadership-journal","tax_ctp_tags-church-growth","tax_ctp_tags-church-health","tax_ctp_tags-conflict","tax_ctp_tags-relationship","tax_ctp_tags-statistics"],"acf":{"scripture_references":null},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Leadership Surveys Church Conflict - CT Pastors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bad news: 95% experience conflict. Good news: 94% report positive results.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Leadership Surveys Church Conflict - CT Pastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bad news: 95% experience conflict. Good news: 94% report positive results.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"CT Pastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CTPastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2004-10-01T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-10-09T01:50:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eric Reed\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@CTpastors\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@CTpastors\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"CMS Admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#\/schema\/person\/85018388509706870f1ad6829069e1a3\"},\"headline\":\"Leadership Surveys Church Conflict\",\"datePublished\":\"2004-10-01T00:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-09T01:50:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\"},\"wordCount\":937,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/\",\"name\":\"Leadership Surveys Church Conflict - CT Pastors\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/leadership-surveys-church-conflict\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/19\/2025\/10\/53781.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2004-10-01T00:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-09T01:50:12+00:00\",\"description\":\"Bad news: 95% experience conflict. 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