{"id":20812,"date":"2001-01-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2001-01-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/2001\/01\/01\/if-it-could-happen-to-me\/"},"modified":"2001-01-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2001-01-01T00:00:00","slug":"if-it-could-happen-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/if-it-could-happen-to-me\/","title":{"rendered":"If It Could Happen to Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Help from men who’ve been there.<\/h2>\nAfter helping Leadership<\/em> craft its survey on this subject, I had to admit to the editors that Internet pornography was a personal issue for me.<\/span>\nThis was not a pleasant thing to share. You see, I’m a psychologist. It’s my job to help people with addictions. And I’m a Christian. I was reared in a godly home with a father who never pursued this vice. But I, his son who knew better, did. I started with Playboy<\/em>, moved on to movies, videos, and finally, the Internet.<\/span>\nFor many years, I binged, going as long as two years without buying a magazine or renting a video, only to give in again. Then my job gave me access to the Internet. No longer did I have to risk buying pornography in person.<\/span>\nI was hooked. I tried to stop. I confessed-repented-sinned again and again. I was distressed but I didn’t stop. Several months passed; I knew I had to tell somebody.<\/span>\nAfter much agonizing I called a colleague, Bill, and asked if we could meet for a cup of coffee. I prayed for God’s help. I told Bill my problem. I asked if he would help me be accountable, if he would meet with me weekly and see if that helped. Confessing was painful. I knew Bill respected me professionally, and I risked losing that.<\/span>\nBut God enabled me to pick as a partner a man in whom trust was justified. That was six years ago. We’re still friends, we still talk and e-mail on occasion, though a job change ended our meetings.<\/span>\nFor the past three years, I’ve been meeting with three guys from my church. We all have acknowledged sexual sins, and we all desire to serve God and be free. We’re not perfect, we still struggle on occasion. But looking back we can see real progress; God is bringing us along, helping us to pursue holiness.<\/span>\nI’m convinced that it is a flat-out, radical passion to know and serve God combined with accountability to other men who can acknowledge their own failings that holds the key to breaking the cycle.<\/span>\nFor pastors struggling with pornography, I would like to offer help. We can start the process with a confidential e-mail. And for those who have successfully wrestled their own sins and would be willing to share accountability with other strugglers, I would also appreciate your response.<\/span>\nhumbled_1@juno.com<\/a><\/span>\n\n

Resources<\/h2>\n\n

For strugglers and those who want to help them.<\/h2>\nBooks<\/strong><\/span>\nEvery Man’s Battle<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\nby Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stokey with Mike Yorkey (WaterBrook, 2000)<\/span>\nThe Sexual Man<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\nby Archibald Hart (Word, 1994)<\/span>\nHidden Dangers of the Internet<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\nby Gregory L. Jantz (Shaw, 1998)<\/span>\nWhen Good Men Are Tempted<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\nby Bill Perkins (Zondervan, 1997)<\/span>\nPure Desire<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\nby Ted Roberts (Regal, 1999)<\/span>\nFalse Intimacy<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\nby Harry W. Schaumburg (NavPress, 1992)<\/span>\n\nCounselors<\/strong><\/span>\nLink Care Center<\/strong><\/span>\nBrent Lindquist<\/span>\nFresno, California<\/span>\n559-439-5920<\/span>\nwww.linkcare.org<\/a><\/span>\nShort-term and long-term care in a clinical setting.<\/span>\nMarble Retreat<\/strong><\/span>\nDr. Louis and Melissa McBurney<\/span>\nMarble, Colorado<\/span>\n970-963-2499<\/span>\nwww.marbleretreat.org<\/a><\/span>\nChrist-centered therapy in a retreat setting.<\/span>\nStone Gate Resources<\/strong><\/span>\nDr. Harry Schaumburg<\/span>\n11509 Palmer Divide Road<\/span>\nLarkspur, Colorado 80118<\/span>\n888-575-3030<\/span>\nwww.stonegateresources.org<\/a><\/span>\nCounseling for Christian leaders, specializing in sexual issues, in ten-day retreats.<\/span>\n\nReferrals and Web sites<\/strong><\/span>\nPastoral Care Line<\/span>\nFocus on the Family<\/span>\nColorado Springs, Colorado<\/span>\n877-233-4455 (toll free)<\/span>\nwww.family.org\/pastor<\/a><\/span>\nwww.pureintimacy.org<\/a><\/span>\nFocus on the Family operates this site for church leaders hooked on internet pornography. The site includes resources, referrals, and a list of Internet-filter services.<\/span>\nwww.sa.org<\/a><\/span>\nSexaholics Anonymous operates a 12-step program on the AA model. This site provides self-assessment tests and meeting information.<\/span>\nwww.getnetwise.org<\/a><\/span>\nA consortium of major Internet service providers offers guidance on safe surfing, filter systems, and reviews of careful providers.<\/span>\n\n

NOTE: For your convenience, the following products are available for purchase:<\/p>\n\n