As a service, Leadership offers summaries of all articles longer\nthan three pages, so you can decide which articles are of most interest to\nyou, and glean the essential concepts of articles if you have only limited\ntime to read.<\/p>\n \n
In this interview, two pastors and a Christian musician-Scotty Smith,\nScott Roley, and Michael Card-talk candidly about how they found accountability\nin the midst of friendship.<\/p>\n\n
\nScott Roley<\/strong>: Back in 1990, I wanted to go to some event that would\nhave brought me into contact with a relationship from my past, and it was\nclearly wrong for me to go. So I hid my idea of going. But it came up in\na conversation with Scotty. Scotty told Michael, and they both said, “You’re\nnot going to this event.”<\/p>\n\n \nMichael Card<\/strong>: Often, my motivation for not deceiving these guys is\nnot personal righteousness; it’s because I don’t want to be caught by Scotty\nor Scott. They’re the two guys I respect most in the world, the two people\nI don’t want to disappoint.<\/p>\n\n \nScotty Smith<\/strong>: The pain of love is stronger than the pain of legalism.\nIf this were just an accountability group that had a list of things to check\noff, we could say, “I blew it,” and move on. But because we love each other,\nthe pain that goes with damaging that friendship is more telling.<\/p>\n\n \nRoley<\/strong>: We’re all trying to resist being someone who sucks up to the\nsystem, makes a living off the faith, and builds his own kingdom.<\/p>\n\n \nSmith<\/strong>: Every person with a microphone in his or her hand learns\npragmatically what works. And “transparency” works. I can get in the pulpit\nand be transparent, yet if I didn’t have authentic relationships, it would\nnot represent true vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n \nSmith<\/strong>: If you’re not walking in community, then your transparency\nas a preacher may be nothing more than emotional voyeurism and manipulation.\nMy community with these guys forces the issue.<\/p>\n\n \nRoley<\/strong>: We can’t fully be known. These two will never know everything\nabout me.<\/p>\n\n \nCard<\/strong>: It’s a myth that accountability can occur outside of community.\nAccount-ability does not come before community.<\/p>\n\n \nSmith<\/strong>: It’s also a myth that if I’m in the right accountability group,\nit’s going to feel like a spiritual orgasm, that every time we get together\nwe’ll know the shekinah glory of God. There are so many seasons of friendship.\nSometimes you feel a sense of mission. Other times it’s just three guys talking\nabout life.<\/p>\n\n Psychiatrist Louis McBurney helps pastors understand the psychological\nresistance to accountability.<\/p>\n \nI find accountability difficult for at least four reasons.<\/p>\n\n “If you really knew what I’m like inside,\nyou wouldn’t want to be seen with me.” I’ve heard that from countless individuals\nas a psychiatrist. At times I’ve felt the same way. Fear of rejection often\nmakes accountability scary. But the times I’ve come clean, no matter how\nhard, have led to acceptance and forgiveness rather than rejection.<\/p>\n\n The things I confess openly to my\naccountability partner, I often fail at repeatedly. That becomes embarrassing.\nI feel convicted, get up the courage to confess, pledge to quit doing whatever\nit was, only to repeat the behavior.<\/p>\n\n It’s not so easy to submit\nto someone angry at you. At Marble, we often work with pastors who have broken\nfaith and trust with the people in their lives. One part of working through\nthose situations is being assigned to an “accountability group.”<\/p>\n\n \nThe problem, though, is that the accountability group-often people from the\ncongregation or denomination-are hurt and angry. The pastors I work with\nsay the experience of an accountability group begins to feel like the Spanish\nInquisition.<\/p>\n\n I’m a master at\nself-deceit. I can employ denial, rationalization, and projection so fast\nit would set old Freud’s head shrinking. I don’t like my anger or guilt or\nanxiety-these emotions just don’t fit with who I like to be (or at least\nlike to appear to be). So I find ways to avoid dealing with them.<\/p>\n \n In this Leadership classic, Randy Alcorn offers practical steps to\nmaintain your purity and ministry.<\/p>\n \nThe myth that ministers are morally invulnerable dies slowly, even in the\nface of overwhelming evidence. Even those of us who haven’t fallen know how\nfierce is the struggle with temptation.<\/p>\n\n \nI now live with the frightening but powerfully motivating knowledge that\nI could commit sexual immorality. I started taking precautions to keep<\/em>\nit from happening to me.<\/p>\n\n \nOften those who fall into sexual sin can point back to lapses in their practices\nof meditation, worship, prayer, and the healthy self-examination such disciplines\nfoster. All of us know this, but in the busyness of giving out, we can easily\nneglect the replenishing of our spiritual reservoirs.<\/p>\n\n \nI watch for the red flags of discontentment, poor communication, and poor\nsexual relationship. We try to spend regular, uninterrupted time together\nto renew our closeness.<\/p>\n\n \nOne pastor found his thoughts were continually drawn to a coworker, more\nso than to his wife. Then his rule of thumb became: I will meet with her\nonly when necessary, only as long as necessary, only at the office, and with\nothers present as much as possible. In time, their relationship returned\nto its original, healthy status.<\/p>\n\n \nMost pastors who end up in bed with a woman do it not just to gratify a sexual\nurge, but because they believe they’ve begun to really love her. Thus, our\nenemies are not only lascivious thoughts of sex but “innocuous” feelings\nof infatuation as well.<\/p>\n\n \nWhen meeting a woman for our third counseling appointment, I became aware\nthat she was interested in me personally. Though I wasn’t yet<\/em> emotionally\ninvolved or giving her inappropriate attention, I wasn’t deflecting hers\ntoward me and was thereby inviting it. For-tunately, when God prompted me,\nI made other counseling arrangements for her.<\/p>\n\n \nOne pastor didn’t tell his wife about his frequent meetings with a particular\nwoman on the grounds he shouldn’t violate confidentialities, even to his\nwife. Besides, he sensed his wife would be jealous (without good reason,\nof course), so why upset her? Under the cloak of professionalism and sensitivity\nto his wife, he proceeded to meet with this woman secretly. The result was\npredictable.<\/p>\n\n \nFrom talking with Christian leaders, I’ve come to understand that the more\nprominent they become, the more they need accountability and the less they\nget it. For several years now we have committed the first two hours of our\nweekly all-day staff meeting to discussing personal “sufferings and rejoicings”\n(1 Cor. 12:26). We ask, “How are you doing?” and if the answers are vague\nor something seems wrong, we probe deeper.<\/p>\n\n \nIn the wake of several Christian leaders’ falling into immorality, a co-pastor\nand I developed a list of specific consequences that would result from our\nimmorality. The list spoke more powerfully than any sermon or article on\nthe subject.<\/p>\n\n \nI. I Need an “Old Man”<\/strong><\/p>\n Pastor Bob Roberts, Jr., confesses his need for an older, wiser guide.<\/p>\n \nI want to know that some pastor out there made it. I don’t mean that he became\na religious success story, but that he completed the race. I want to know\nthat he didn’t have to lose his sanity or morality to do it. I want to know\nthat ministry really is what we say it is. I want hope that I will really\nbe more than what I do, and stay true to who I am.<\/p>\n\n \nI need an old man.<\/p>\n\n \nII. How to Find a Mentor<\/strong><\/p>\n Business leader Fred Smith gives 7 questions to select the right person.<\/p>\n \nScripture says young men are for strength, old men for wisdom. A mentor needs\ndepth of experience-and to have synthesized those experiences into teachable\nlessons.<\/p>\n\n \nI see some fathers who still compete with their sons. They’re not able to\nrelax and let the boy grow up and go past them.<\/p>\n\n \nIn my first meeting with someone, I look for “an unscratchable itch” for\nexcellence. If I see that, I know the person will persevere beyond the plateau\nof comfort.<\/p>\n\n \nI never want a guide who isn’t my friend.<\/p>\n\n I don’t want to spend my time with anybody who won’t take the occasion\nseriously. Does it have meaning to them? Does the relationship count?<\/p>\n\n I need to be close enough to somebody to say, “If I read the situation\nright, you are going toward trouble.”<\/p>\n\n Maxey Jarman, former chairman of Genesco, used to say, “A board member’s\nchief function is the questions he or she asks.” Management is supposed to\nknow the answer, but the director is supposed to know the question. So a\nmentor ought to be able to ask good questions.<\/p>\n\n \nIII. What I Want to Be When I Grow Up<\/strong><\/p>\n\n Chuck Swindoll describes a person who modeled ministry for him<\/p>\n \nEach answer was drawn from deep wells of wisdom, shaped by tough decisions,\nand nurtured by time. And pain. Mistakes and mistreatment. Like forty years\nin the same church. And seasoned by travel. Like having ministered around\nthe world. And honed by tests, risks, heartbreaks, and failures.<\/p>\n\n \nI’m profoundly grateful that Ray Stedman’s shadow crossed my life.<\/p>\n\n \nIn a day of tarnished leaders, fallen heroes, busy parents, frantic coaches,\narrogant authority figures, and eggheaded geniuses, we need guides, not gods.\nWe need approachable, caring souls to help us negotiate our way through life’s\nlabyrinth.<\/p>\n\n Minister Charles Yarborough offers realistic help for churches facing\nimpossible odds.<\/p>\n \nThis church suffered a split in the late 1950s. By the late 1980s, attendance\nhad dropped to an average of twenty. The church is located in a non-growth\ntown. There is little industry in the county, and unemployment runs high.<\/p>\n\n \nYet in our first four years of effort, we added fifty-seven members. I’d\nlike to pass along the simple ideas that put our church into action.<\/p>\n\n \nI could not believe this great church, a community landmark since 1834, was\nso close to closing its doors. During a sermon, I read this statement from\nthe display case downstairs: “From the beginning it was a church of vision,\na church that tried and succeeded in living out the gospel as Jesus set forth.\nThey lived through some of the toughest times in American history.\n. . .” Then I said, “Let history record these words, ‘In 1989, a small group\nof servants known as The First Christian Church in Albany, Kentucky fought\nback. Because of them, the flame of the lamp glows brighter than ever!’ “<\/p>\n\n \nMost small churches are quick to tell you, “Why, we’re the friendliest little\nchurch in town.” Most really are friendly to their own members, but in truth,\nthey often ignore the lonely visitor.<\/p>\n\n \nTo break the ice, we began having people greet others during worship. Deacons\nor ushers pass out visitor cards, along with pencils, during the time of\nwelcome. The cards give us guests’ full addresses, ages of children, and\nmore. We follow up by taking a pie, cake, cookies, or home-baked bread to\nthe person.<\/p>\n\n \nAnytime you have a crowd in a small town church, it gives you a positive\nappearance in the community. One event that helped us was Friend Day. On\nthat Sunday, after having twenty-nine people Sunday after Sunday for nine\nmonths, 151 showed up!<\/p>\n\n \nWe teach people to ask a simple but specific question: “Do you attend any\nparticular church on a regular basis?” The last four words are key. When\na person responds, “On a regular basis? No, we don’t attend church very much,”\nyou can talk about your church.<\/p>\n\n \nThere is one sure way to get young people: take them on a trip. Albany is\nabout five hours from the beautiful Smoky Mountains, so we decided to hold\na youth retreat in the Smokies. I’m still not sure where they came from,\nbut we found six teenagers for our retreat. Following the retreat, all six\nwere baptized and received into the church.<\/p>\n\n \nA well-prepared organist truly lifts the spirit of the worship. Yet so often,\nwe try to get by with a person who can’t play. Use organ and piano together.\nSelect choral music that will challenge the older musician to work harder.\nOne of two things will happen, and both are good. The extra practicing will\nmake her a better musician, or she will decide it’s time to retire. If she\nmakes that decision, host a church-wide retirement dinner in her honor.<\/p>\n\n Leadership assistant editor Ed Rowell reports on what a solemn assembly\nis, and how it might restore health to your church.<\/p>\n \nThe Old Testament records at least twelve times when Israel’s leaders called\nthe nation to-gether for confession and repentance. Leaders of every period\nof spiritual awakening and renewal have used these examples as a template\nfor restoring groups to a right relationship with God. The solemn assembly\nhas become a tool to restore troubled churches, as they come to terms with\ntheir destructive behavior, toleration of sin, and spiritual indifference.<\/p>\n\n \nMost often, when the church faces deep, spiritual problems. When Grant Adkisson\nwas pastor of First Baptist Church of Pagosa Springs, Colorado, the church\nused a solemn assembly during a season of testing involving a contentious\nmember who sued the church.<\/p>\n\n \nRick McKinniss, pastor in Kensington, Connecticut used the solemn assembly\nas a pro-active step rather than a response to crisis.<\/p>\n\n \nEvery church Leadership interviewed prepared with an extended period of teaching\nand prayer. Sermon series of 8-12 weeks were common. Prayer meetings met\nfor months, with an intense, focused period prior to the solemn assembly.<\/p>\n\n \nThat varies for each congregation, but it always involves public confession\nof sin. In Kensington, the assembly was a two-hour service of worship, Scripture\nreading, corporate and individual confession, repentance, and “the renunciation\nof strongholds.” Southern Baptist leader Ron Owens urges congregations to\nconclude with a Communion service.<\/p>\n\n \nThe aftermath of a solemn assembly is as varied as the congregations that\nhold them. A midwestern church had a dramatic response to the solemn assembly,\nrepenting for the inappropriate firings of four previous pastors. But four\nyears later, some old behavior patterns have returned, and the current pastor\nsometimes wonders if his days are numbered.<\/p>\n\n \nRick McKinniss’s congregation experienced a new freedom in worship. In addition,\ntheir whole framework for decision making has changed.<\/p>\n\n \nThe results of the solemn assembly in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, are even\nmore dramatic. The solemn assembly was held less than two weeks from the\ncourt date. The chief antagonist and his family were killed in a private\nplane crash. “We were utterly crushed. When we came together the next Sunday,\nit was a time of agonizing and weeping. And fear.”<\/p>\n\n \nCorporate repentance helps churches deal with past issues that affect present\nhealth and future direction. In cases where the solemn assembly was seen\nas an event, effects were short-lived. In congregations that used the service\nas the beginning of a new pattern of relating to God and one another, the\ntransformation has sometimes been dramatic.<\/p>\n\n Writer, speaker, and pastor’s wife Jill Briscoe talks about how to\nrestore a fresh sense of partnership with God.<\/p>\n\n When have you most felt you couldn’t keep going in\nministry?<\/p>\n \nThere was a period when I did so much street ministry, and then I had three\nkids, and Stuart was on the road as an evangelist for months on end. I felt\nI couldn’t keep going in that ministry.\n\nBut I don’t think I have ever come to the point of saying, “I can’t keep\ngoing in ministry,” because what is ministry? It’s being a disciple, isn’t\nit? I’ve never been so depressed that I could give up that.\n<\/p>\n What did you do with the pain you were feeling about your particular\nministry?<\/p>\n \nI came to a point of decision. I could either drown in a sea of self-pity,\nor ask, “In what redemptive way do you want to use this mess, Lord?\n\nA friend whose husband traveled all her life helped me; she said, “Get so\nbusy that you fall into bed at night. Fill your life with other people’s\nproblems.” I did and found it took me out of myself.\n\nI try not to waste pain. I try to let it be an energizer rather than to obsess\nme and to take me out of thinking about other people.\n<\/p>\n You speak often to people in ministry. What do you notice as you meet\nwith them?<\/p>\n \nWhat I see worldwide—especially in the mission field and in the leaders\non the front lines against incredible odds—is they’re just tired.\n\nElijah once lay flat on his face under a tree, wanting to die. Not because\neverything was wrong—fire had just fallen on his ministry. But he just\ncollapsed. A lot of people in ministry need that loving touch of the Lord\nthat Elijah found when the Lord said, “The journey’s too great for thee.”\nGod didn’t rebuke and chastise him. He just touched him in his tiredness\nand allowed him to retire in his cave for a bit.\n<\/p>\n How do you deal with being tired “of” the work of the\nLord?<\/p>\n \nRenewing your commitment to God and your interaction with the Holy Spirit.\nPersonal renewal of your fire, your passion. We’re doing the programs, and\nprograms can be effective, but do we maintain the heart? Do we care about\nthe lost?\n<\/p>\n \n 1996 by Christianity Today\/LEADERSHIP journal<\/p>\nHow does the group handle the pressures Scotty faces as senior\npastor?<\/h2>\n
Where is the line?<\/h2>\n
What has your friendship taught you about accountability?<\/h2>\n
Why I resist accountability (p. 34)<\/h2>\n
I fear rejection<\/h2>
I feel embarrassed<\/h2>
I resent control by hostile people<\/h2>
I don’t like facing my negative feelings<\/h2>
STRATEGIES TO KEEP FROM FALLING (p. 46)<\/h2> \n
Monitoring my spiritual pulse<\/h2>
Guarding my marriage.<\/h2>
Taking precautions.<\/h2>
Dealing with the subtle signs of sexual attraction.<\/h2>
Backing off early<\/h2>
Clearing cloudy thoughts.<\/h2>
Holding myself accountable<\/h2>
Regularly rehearsing the consequences.<\/h2>
TRAINING WITH A CHAMPIONSHIP COACH (p. 54)<\/h2> \n
1. Do they have wisdom from experience?<\/h2>
2. Do they feel noncompetitive toward younger people?<\/h2>
3. Can they spot talent?<\/h2>
4. Is there a chemistry between us?<\/h2>
5. Will they take the responsibility seriously?<\/h2>
6. Are they willing and able to confront?<\/h2>
7. Do they ask good questions?<\/h2>
HOPE IN A NO-GROWTH TOWN (p. 78)<\/h2> \n
Draw on history.<\/h2>
Build friendliness.<\/h2>
Hold special events.<\/h2>
Teach members how to reach neighbors<\/h2>
Minister to young people.<\/h2>
Improve the music.<\/h2>
The day our church repented (p. 90)<\/h2>\n
What is a solemn assembly?<\/h2>
When is a solemn assembly appropriate?<\/h2>
How do we prepare for a solemn assembly?<\/h2>
What does a solemn assembly look like?<\/h2>
What can we expect to happen longterm?<\/h2>
Would a solemn assembly help our church?<\/h2>
KEEPING THE ADVENTURE IN MINISTRY (p. 110)<\/h2> \n\n