\nI came to a startling revelation a few months ago. I don’t have any friends.\nI don’t. I have a lot of acquaintances but, other than my wife, I really\nhave no close friends.<\/p>\n\n
\nI’ve had some friends in the past, but not many. Eventually something\nhappened-nothing sinister, just something like moving, having a baby, changing\njobs, building a home, going back to school, changing churches. Nothing bad\nor wrong, just something that happened-and the next thing I knew, another\nfriendship slowly eroded.<\/p>\n\n
\nThere are half a dozen guys whom I consider to be close, caring people I\nalways look forward to being with. They are people who accept me as I am.<\/p>\n\n
\nBut a close<\/em> friend? Nope. Not one.<\/p>\n\n \nI have been wondering why for a long time. After some painful soul-searching,\nI think I have discovered the reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n \nI am too busy. I am gone too much, travel too much, speak too much, and work\ntoo much. I have done an excellent job of convincing the people around me\nthat I am too busy—too busy doing the important work I am doing—to have\nany time for friendships. In other words, I have convinced them to buy into\nthe myth of my busy-ness to such a degree that the possibility of my being\ntheir friend (or their being mine) never enters their mind.<\/p>\n\n \nYou see, people don’t want to impose. They don’t want to rob my wife and\nme of the few moments we have together, so they enable us by staying away\nso we can be even busier.<\/p>\n\n \nThis week I am speaking in England, next week New York, the week after that\nHawaii, then Australia, then Dallas, then Vancouver. Then I come home for\na few days, exhausted, jet-lagged, useless to everyone around me while my\nbody and mind adjust to the new and unfamiliar surroundings—my home. I spend\na day with my wife and kids getting reacquainted, and all the while I’m anxious\nto get to the phone messages and correspondence that have fallen way behind.<\/p>\n\n \nI’m home, but I’m not home. I am present, but I am not really present. And\nthen one morning I wake up and realize that I am alone. Very alone. I realize\nI need to do something about all of this. Then I race to catch the plane\nfor my next trip and vow to change when I get home.<\/p>\n\n\n \nWhen will it occur to those of us in the public eye that we cannot keep doing\nthis? We cannot keep acting like we have no choice because without us the\nworld will fall apart.<\/p>\n\nMy busy-ness myth<\/h2>
Busy making friends<\/h2>