{"id":22107,"date":"1996-07-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"1996-07-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/1996\/07\/01\/four-ways-ive-found-encouragement\/"},"modified":"1996-07-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"1996-07-01T00:00:00","slug":"four-ways-ive-found-encouragement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/four-ways-ive-found-encouragement\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Ways I’ve Found Encouragement"},"content":{"rendered":"

\nNear the ten-year anniversary of my ordination, I was floundering. I felt\nisolated, weary, on the edge of that overused but apropos\ntermburn-out.<\/em> There were signs: heart palpitations, fatigue, a cranky\nand critical spirit.<\/p>\n\n

\nDuring the day, my energy level sagged, and the simplest tasks, such as returning\nphone calls and cranking out another adult education brochure, became chores.\nI awoke at three o’clock in the morning with a mile-long list of gnawing\nworries. I read the want ads and studied college brochures, trying to discover\nif there were anything else I could do to make a living.<\/p>\n\n

\nWith the help of a therapist, I came to see I was so busy taking care of\neverybody else, I wasn’t taking good care of myself. I began to make changes:\nto take more time off and develop interests outside the church. Then a new\ncall came. I, a native Californian, packed up my life and journeyed some\nthousand miles away from my family and growing sense of community. I began\nthe challenging process of starting over in a new church setting. This time,\nI had a chance to do things differently. But would I?<\/p>\n\n

\nNot quite a year later, I feel as if I’m doing great. It may be that I’m\nstill in the honeymoon period, but I’ve intentionally put in place some\ncomponents of support and accountability.<\/p>\n\n

A friend<\/h2>\n

\nFirst, I have cultivated a friendship with a person I knew, who moved here\nbefore me. She and her family live forty-five minutes away, a bit of a commute,\nbut it’s fun to get out of town on my day off (and the telephone bills are\nmanageable).<\/p>\n\n

\nThe best thing is that she is not a member of my church, but she is a committed\nChristian who understands church. Our conversation is no-holds-barred and\nruns the gamut from side-splitting laughter to heart-wrenching tears. Her\nheat-seeking-missile questions don’t allow me to get away with anything.<\/p>\n\n

\nOne post-sermon, blue Monday, as I bemoaned the lack of congregational feedback,\nshe made a direct hit: “Why is affirmation so important to you? Is enough\never enough? How much of your ego is wrapped up in your preaching?”<\/p>\n\n

\nThere are two additional bonuses with our friendship: I often go “home” to\nher place for the holidays, and we have an ongoing cribbage tournament, which\nI’m winning.<\/p>\n\n

A sounding board<\/h2>\n

\nI have been meeting monthly with a small group of seven denominationally\nand theologically diverse women pastors. However, we rarely talk theology,\nand we don’t pray together.<\/p>\n\n

\nWhat we do is talk shop.<\/p>\n\n

\nThey were the ones I told about the hurt and frustration I felt when long-time\nmembers of my new congregation invited me over to their home to tell me they\nwere leaving the church. One reason was because they didn’t believe that\na woman could be a senior pastor.<\/p>\n\n

\nThese women pastors laughed with me when I told about a recent Sunday morning,\nafter our third worship service, when I was accosted by two mothers in the\nnarthex telling me a child had just thrown up in the sanctuary. “What can\nyou do about it?” the mothers asked.<\/p>\n\n

\nWhen I told my group what I told those two women (“I don’t do barf!”), we\nlaughed uproariously.<\/p>\n\n

\nWe wonder aloud about how women pastors do ministry differently than men.\nWe talk about how to get a life outside the church. We talk about problems\nin our churches and how to lead effectively. Recently we went on an overnight\nretreat, ate ourselves silly, went for walks, and talked nearly nonstop about\npower, depression, and the fine line between spirituality and sexuality.<\/p>\n\n

\nThis group is unique, a sounding board where we share our vocational lives.\nWhen I share out loud, I see in the eyes of one or more of these sisters\nthe bright glint of recognition.<\/p>\n\n

A spiritual director<\/h2>\n

\nI consciously stepped a bit outside the comfort zone of my tradition and\nsought out a spiritual director.<\/p>\n\n

\nShe has helped me to listen to my life, to look at my fears, to own up to\nmy mixed motivations, and to slow down long enough to hear what God is saying.\nShe takes God seriously. She takes me seriously.<\/p>\n\n

\nShe has been a reminder that there is a huge difference between working for\nGod and being with God. That thought is nothing new, but when you’re in the\nbusiness of making God known, it’s easy to forget. There are light years\nof difference between knowingabout<\/em> God and knowing God. She encourages\nthe latter.<\/p>\n\n

\nNo doubt one of the greatest sins in my life is pride; I think too much of\nmyself. But I have also struggled with what I call the “sin of humility.”\nI suspect this may be a specialty sin of women: thinking too little of ourselves.\nEarly on when I met with my spiritual director, I told her my misgivings\nabout my ability to lead. I didn’t feel I knew what I was doing, trying to\nguide a new church into the future. I told her I often wondered if God had\nmade some kind of horrible mistake by calling me to ministry. I told her\nI sometimes felt like that dumb, 14-year-old kid, the disenchanted ex-Mormon,\nwho came to faith as a theological neophyte and a denominational orphan.<\/p>\n\n

\nHer gentle, heartfelt reply blew my socks off: “Heidi, Jesus doesn’t want\nyou to get out of the way of what he’s doing at your church, because you’re\nnot in the way. Jesus wants to know what you think! You know some stuff!\nHe’s not waiting for you to mess up. Jesus is excited about your being there\nto lead those people!”<\/p>\n\n

A peer group<\/h2>\n

\nI recently covenanted to meet monthly with three other Presbyterian pastors,\nall of whom happen to be men. Our ministries are fairly dissimilar: one is\na pastor of a new church development; two are solo pastors of smaller churches;\nand I am pastor of an 1,100-member, multi-staff church.<\/p>\n\n

\nYet we desire to support each other because (1) ministry can be so incredibly\nisolating, (2) we’re all relatively new to the area, and (3) we’re more or\nless neighbors. We help each other get some questions answered such as, “Do\nyou have a food closet?” “Can we build a Habitat for Humanity House together?”\n“How did your stewardship drive go this year?” “Our budget is behind several\nthousand dollars; how about yours?” “What do you do for officer training?”\n“What session [board] member is driving you up the wall?” “Do you have any\ngood counselor referrals?”<\/p>\n\n

\nOur hope is that we can talk openly about our joys and struggles in the church,\neven to debate theological hot potatoes, and, perhaps most important, to\npray together. I am looking forward to our partnership.<\/p>\n\n

Heidi A. Husted is senior pastor of Columbia Presbyterian Church in Vancouver,\nWashington.<\/p>\n\n

1996 by Christianity Today\/LEADERSHIP journal<\/p>\n

Last Updated: September 17, 1996<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Near the ten-year anniversary of my ordination, I was floundering. I felt isolated, weary, on the edge of that overused but apropos termburn-out. There were signs: heart palpitations, fatigue, a cranky and critical spirit. During the day, my energy level sagged, and the simplest tasks, such as returning phone calls and cranking out another adult Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tax_ctp_authors":[1727],"tax_ctp_books":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[154],"tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory":[],"tax_ctp_field_guides":[],"tax_ctp_format":[131],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[],"tax_publications":[648,156,651],"tax_ctp_tags":[3532,4021,4792,5042,5046,5286],"tax_ctp_topics":[],"class_list":["post-22107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tax_ctp_authors-heidi-husted-armstrong","tax_publications-1996-leadership-journal","tax_publications-leadership-journal","tax_publications-summer_1996-leadership-journal","tax_ctp_tags-burnout","tax_ctp_tags-friendship","tax_ctp_tags-relationship","tax_ctp_tags-spiritual-direction","tax_ctp_tags-spiritual-formation","tax_ctp_tags-women"],"acf":{"scripture_references":null},"yoast_head":"\nFour Ways I've Found Encouragement - CT Pastors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Near the ten-year anniversary of my ordination, I was floundering. 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