{"id":22963,"date":"1993-01-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"1993-01-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/1993\/01\/01\/can-servants-say-no\/"},"modified":"1993-01-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"1993-01-01T00:00:00","slug":"can-servants-say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/can-servants-say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"CAN SERVANTS SAY NO?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago I called a church member, a mechanic, to see if he’d agree to oversee the maintenance on our church van. It turned out to be a case study on the pressures pastors feel to let others use (and abuse?) their time.<\/p>\n\n

“Hey, Rick, it’s great you called,” he said, as soon as he picked up the phone. “I was going to call you today and ask you a favor.”<\/p>\n\n

Wonderful, I thought to myself. If he asks me a favor first and I say yes, then he will feel more obliged to help us out, too.<\/p>\n\n

“What a coincidence-why don’t you ask first,” I suggested.<\/p>\n\n

“Well, we have this city chamber event on Saturday afternoon, three weeks from now,” he said. “We’d like you to be the emcee. Are you free that day?” (That was probably a double message: check your calendar, and be aware we want you gratis-no honorarium.)<\/p>\n\n

My wife and I had a day trip planned for that Saturday. But, wanting him to help me, I said, “Well, I’ve got a conflict that day, but maybe I can get out of it. I’ll try to rearrange my schedule.” Rather than saying no, which I wanted to do, I was trying to bend (albeit manipulatively) to fit his and the church’s needs.<\/p>\n\n

“That would be wonderful,” he said. “Now, what did you need?”<\/p>\n\n

I told him our need, stressing the maintenance wouldn’t be too time-consuming.<\/p>\n\n

“I’d love to help you, Rick,” he quickly responded, “but I’m really a busy guy, and I’m over-committed right now. Sorry. But thanks for being willing to help us out. Talk to you later.”<\/p>\n\n

I hung up the phone, dumbfounded. My secretary, who had witnessed the whole thing, was laughing.<\/p>\n\n

“That’s not fair,” I protested. “Why can he say no so easily, and I can’t? What’s wrong with me?”<\/p>\n\n

Figuring out who I am and who God wants me to be is no small task. So is living out that design, not conforming to what others want me to be.<\/p>\n\n

That episode helped me reconsider the things I agree to do. It even gave me courage to call the mechanic back and tell him I couldn’t change that other appointment after all.<\/p>\n\n

-Rick Stedman<\/p>\n\n

Crossroads Christian Church<\/p>\n\n

Corona, California<\/p>\n\n

Copyright © 1993 by the author or Christianity Today\/Leadership Journal<\/em>.\nClick here<\/a> for reprint information on Leadership Journal<\/em>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago I called a church member, a mechanic, to see if he’d agree to oversee the maintenance on our church van. It turned out to be a case study on the pressures pastors feel to let others use (and abuse?) their time. “Hey, Rick, it’s great you called,” he said, as soon Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tax_ctp_authors":[2809],"tax_ctp_books":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[154],"tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory":[],"tax_ctp_field_guides":[],"tax_ctp_format":[131],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[],"tax_publications":[632,156,636],"tax_ctp_tags":[3918,4498,4604,4606,4608,4953,5046],"tax_ctp_topics":[],"class_list":["post-22963","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tax_ctp_authors-rick-stedman","tax_publications-1993-leadership-journal","tax_publications-leadership-journal","tax_publications-winter_1993-leadership-journal","tax_ctp_tags-expectation","tax_ctp_tags-motivation","tax_ctp_tags-pastor","tax_ctp_tags-pastors-role","tax_ctp_tags-pastoral-care","tax_ctp_tags-service","tax_ctp_tags-spiritual-formation"],"acf":{"scripture_references":null},"yoast_head":"\nCAN SERVANTS SAY NO? - CT Pastors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A few weeks ago I called a church member, a mechanic, to see if he'd agree to oversee the maintenance on our church van. 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