{"id":7283,"date":"2013-07-17T06:48:00","date_gmt":"2013-07-17T06:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/2013\/07\/17\/just-unfollow-me\/"},"modified":"2013-07-17T06:48:00","modified_gmt":"2013-07-17T06:48:00","slug":"just-unfollow-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/just-unfollow-me\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;Just Unfollow Me!&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&quot;If you don&#39;t like what I&#39;ve said, just unfollow me.&quot; I see this retort pop up in my Twitter feed and Facebook account at least once a week, and often from Christian friends. Usually they&#39;re responding to someone who disagrees with a statement they made on Facebook. It seems to be used as a conversation-ending trump card: &quot;I&#39;m right, you&#39;re wrong, and I&#39;m not going to waste my time with your ignorance.&quot; I&#39;ve even seen this statement in friends&#39; profiles. It&#39;s embedded in their online identities&mdash;before anyone has said a word. The sign marking the boundaries of their digital persona reads, &quot;Disagree with me? Then stay away!&quot;<\/p>\n\n<p>Maybe they feel provoked. Maybe they feel backed into a corner. Maybe they want to identify themselves as &quot;a person of truth.&quot; But, to me, these are indicators that darker things are bubbling beneath the surface.<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead1\">Long Live the Kings<\/h2>\n\n<p>Most of us share only the best parts of life on social media. We&#39;re kings and queens of cyberspace. We have photo-shopped avatars, and unlimited information at our fingertips. We &quot;like&quot; the trendiest music, the hottest TV shows. We populate our virtual utopias with hundreds (or thousands) of &quot;followers&quot; who think and act like us. We toss them the occasional witty blurb or clever quote and watch the &quot;likes&quot; and &quot;retweets&quot; and comments (currency in this digital empire) flow in. With one click, dissenters are ousted. It&#39;s so much easier to raise the drawbridge when we don&#39;t have to see someone&#39;s face.<\/p>\n\n<p>Our online presence can expose, and exacerbate, our sinful tendencies. &quot;Unfollow me&quot; is another form of &quot;go to hell&quot; (&quot;away from my presence!&quot;). Defensiveness, avoidance, provocation, and the other justifications for this statement stir up something darker and more personal. Could it be that certain comments ignite a control idol you thought was buried?<\/p>\n\n<p>The &quot;unfollow me&quot; mentality reveals we do not trust a key truth of the gospel: God has placed us in the world for a reason. &quot;Unfollow me&quot; is just a white flag saying we&#39;re tired of engaging a complicated world&mdash;I&#39;d rather abandon you than influence a life. But it also stunts our own growth. God uses those who disagree with us, those who know things that we don&#39;t, to teach us and help us grow.<\/p>\n\n<p>God&#39;s approval of us in our weakness and imperfection through Jesus&#39; death and resurrection is better than our self-generated perfect world. Our digital kingdoms promote stagnation; the gospel ignites transformation&mdash;in us and in others.<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead1\">A Better Way<\/h2>\n\n<p>Earlier this year, several inflamed tweets and blog posts appeared about Douglas Wilson&#39;s new book, <em class=\"citation\">Black and Tan<\/em>. Rather than skirting the issue and feeding gossip, Wilson invited some strong dissident voices to visit him &quot;on [Wilson&#39;s] dime, in order to have that conversation. We can have it in public or private, and it will be a conversation, not a brawl.&quot; Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile took him up on his offer by beginning a conversation through well-thought, long-form blog posts. Even while disagreeing, both men displayed respect and Christian charity to each other.<\/p>\n\n<p>A similar exchange between Wilson and renowned atheist journalist Christopher Hitchens culminated in the 2009 film, <em class=\"citation\">Collision<\/em>. The two men met several times, taking their online disagreements into in-person conversations, and the result is an absorbing documentary. The director wrote of the debaters&#39; strong friendship: &quot;These guys ended up at the bar laughing, joking, drinking. They agreed on so many things&mdash;except on the existence of God.&quot;<\/p>\n\n<p>These examples show ways to engage others in a respectable, honoring, public way, rather than severing the relationship. Wilson didn&#39;t cross his arms and refuse to engage detractors. Neither did he back down on his positions. And the public benefited from watching these conversations happen.<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-article-subhead1\">Social (Media) Gospel<\/h2>\n\n<p>Maybe we&#39;ll never make a movie about our conflicts. But whomever we engage, in person or online, Jesus&#39; command is the same: &quot;love one another.&quot; His revolutionary charge remains constant: &quot;love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, &hellip; and pray for those who persecute you.&quot; The temptation is to take an &quot;unfollow me&quot; approach to ministry, from the pulpit or on Twitter, and ignore these commands.<\/p>\n\n<p>There&#39;s a time and a place to end a discussion, online or in person: if it&#39;s leading nowhere and damaging a relationship, if the venue isn&#39;t appropriate for the conversation, or if you feel prolonged engagement is not glorifying God. But this is different from an &quot;unfollow me&quot; attitude based in pride, comfort, or self-gratification.<\/p>\n\n<p>Disagree with what I&#39;ve said? That&#39;s fine. Let&#39;s thoughtfully discuss it by email. Or better yet, let&#39;s talk in person. But whatever you do, don&#39;t unfollow me. And I won&#39;t unfollow you.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"is-style-article-bio\">&mdash;Ben Connelly is co-pastor of The City Church in Fort Worth, Texas.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"is-style-article-copyright\">Copyright &copy; 2013 by the author or Christianity Today\/<em class=\"citation\">Leadership Journal<\/em>.\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/le\/help\/permissionsprivacy\/permissions.html#answer\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"copyright\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here<\/a> for reprint information on <em class=\"citation\">Leadership Journal<\/em>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&quot;If you don&#39;t like what I&#39;ve said, just unfollow me.&quot; I see this retort pop up in my Twitter feed and Facebook account at least once a week, and often from Christian friends. Usually they&#39;re responding to someone who disagrees with a statement they made on Facebook. It seems to be used as a conversation-ending <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/content\/just-unfollow-me\/\">Read more&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":7284,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"tax_ctp_authors":[884],"tax_ctp_books":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[154],"tax_ctp_field_guide_subcategory":[],"tax_ctp_field_guides":[],"tax_ctp_format":[131],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[],"tax_publications":[733,156,736],"tax_ctp_tags":[3458,3548,3856,4275,5256],"tax_ctp_topics":[],"class_list":["post-7283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tax_ctp_authors-ben-connelly","tax_publications-2013-leadership-journal","tax_publications-leadership-journal","tax_publications-summer_2013-leadership-journal","tax_ctp_tags-authenticity","tax_ctp_tags-caring","tax_ctp_tags-emotions","tax_ctp_tags-intimacy","tax_ctp_tags-vulnerability"],"acf":{"scripture_references":null},"yoast_head":"<!-- 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