{"id":44317,"date":"2010-12-27T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-12-27T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/preaching\/sermon-illustrations\/how-to-be-prepared-for-anaconda-attack\/"},"modified":"2010-12-27T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-12-27T00:00:00","slug":"how-to-be-prepared-for-anaconda-attack","status":"publish","type":"sermon-illustrations","link":"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/preaching\/sermon-illustrations\/how-to-be-prepared-for-anaconda-attack\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be Prepared for an Anaconda Attack"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>According to pastor and author John Ortberg, a fictitious manual for Peace Corp volunteers headed for South America offers advice on how to handle a chance encounter with an anaconda (a large type of boa constrictor). This is the list of instructions under the heading &quot;What to Do If Attacked by an Anaconda&quot;:<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n\t<li>1. If you&#39;re attacked by an anaconda, do not run; the snake is faster than you are.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>2. Lie flat on the ground.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>3. Put your arms tight at your sides and your legs tight against one another.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>4. The snake will begin to climb over your body.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>5. Do not panic.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>6. The snake will begin to swallow you from the feet end.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>7. Step 6 will take a long time.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>8. After awhile, slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife, and very gently slide it into the snake&#39;s mouth. Then suddenly sever the snake&#39;s head.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>9. Be sure your knife is sharp.<\/li>\n\n\t<li>10. Be sure you have your knife.<\/li>\n\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>John Ortberg quotes these humorous instructions and then makes a serious point: &quot;You never really know what curves life will throw at you, what&#39;s lurking around the corner &hellip; But when you are called, and you will be called, you need to know what to do. If you wait until a crisis hits, because it will hit, you have waited too long. You need to be prepared first.&quot;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"template":"","tax_ctp_audience":[],"tax_ctp_authors":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[165],"tax_ctp_format":[171],"tax_ctp_illustration_types":[406,411],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[440],"tax_publications":[140],"tax_ctp_tags":[3406,3997,4066,4351,4476,4652,4653,4696,5064,5134,5140,5191,5193,5221,5259,5263],"tax_ctp_topics":[],"class_list":["post-44317","sermon-illustrations","type-sermon-illustrations","status-publish","hentry","tax_publications-ct-pastors","tax_ctp_tags-alertness","tax_ctp_tags-focus","tax_ctp_tags-goals","tax_ctp_tags-leadership","tax_ctp_tags-mission","tax_ctp_tags-planning","tax_ctp_tags-plans","tax_ctp_tags-preparation","tax_ctp_tags-spiritual-warfare","tax_ctp_tags-temptation","tax_ctp_tags-testing","tax_ctp_tags-trial","tax_ctp_tags-trouble","tax_ctp_tags-urgency","tax_ctp_tags-wakefulness","tax_ctp_tags-watchfulness"],"acf":{"scripture_references":[{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null}]},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Be Prepared for an Anaconda Attack - CT Pastors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/preaching\/sermon-illustrations\/how-to-be-prepared-for-anaconda-attack\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Be Prepared for an Anaconda Attack - CT Pastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"According to pastor and author John Ortberg, a fictitious manual for Peace Corp volunteers headed for South America offers advice on how to handle a chance encounter with an anaconda (a large type of boa constrictor). 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