Describing the difficulty of racial reconciliation, one African American church leader tells this story:<\/p>\n\n
\nIt was my third year with the ministry. I got a call from a prominent white Christian leader, asking me to go to lunch with him. As we're sitting down to eat, all of a sudden this guy starts crying.… He explained that God had blessed him—his children were healthy, he was known throughout the country. But, he said, "I've had a hard time sleeping throughout the night." And I was thinking to myself, Why is he telling me this? I'm not a therapist.<\/em><\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n"I just came back from an annual conference on the other side of the country," the man told me. "A bunch of us got together to discuss reconciliation and cross-cultural ministry. Usually, when black leaders come into the meeting, we make them feel right at home and let them be part of the decision-making process. But to be honest with you, the decisions are made before your leaders ever get there. I'm used to hearing the jokes and the use of the N-word. But this time, when the jokes were going on and people were saying things, it didn't sound right to me."<\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
\n"How can I get over this?" the leader asked me, sobbing. "How can we be friends?"<\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
\nI was silent for a moment, then asked him, "Do you like football?" He seemed a little puzzled, but said yes. "I do, too," I told him. "I used to coach high school and college ball, and I have a lot of friends who play pro. I love a good game, and I love to cook out. So here's what we do: I need to get to know you, and you need to get to know me. Why don't you come over to my house?" I was the only black in my suburban neighborhood at the time. I said: "Bring your wife and meet my wife, and we'll just sit and talk and get to know each other. I'll barbecue some steaks, and let's start there."<\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
\nHe was taken aback. He said, "You want me to come to your house?"<\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
\n"Yes," I said. "If you want me to sit here and clear your conscience for all the crap you did, I can't do that. Friendship is not cheap. It takes time and commitment." I gave him my home phone number and told him to give me a call.<\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
\nI never heard from him again.<\/p>\n\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
—Adapted from <\/em>Reconciliation Blues<\/a>, by Ed Gilbreath<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"template":"","tax_ctp_audience":[],"tax_ctp_authors":[],"tax_ctp_categories":[165],"tax_ctp_format":[171],"tax_ctp_illustration_types":[411],"tax_ctp_multimedia":[],"tax_ctp_point_editor":[],"tax_publications":[140],"tax_ctp_tags":[3368,3454,3477,3641,3826,3977,3982,4021,4170,4353,4693,4761,4777,4792,5213],"tax_ctp_topics":[378,382,401,403],"class_list":["post-46309","sermon-illustrations","type-sermon-illustrations","status-publish","hentry","tax_publications-ct-pastors","tax_ctp_tags-acceptance","tax_ctp_tags-attitude","tax_ctp_tags-behavior","tax_ctp_tags-communication","tax_ctp_tags-double-mindedness","tax_ctp_tags-fear-of-death","tax_ctp_tags-fellowship","tax_ctp_tags-friendship","tax_ctp_tags-hospitality","tax_ctp_tags-leadership-of-the-church","tax_ctp_tags-prejudice","tax_ctp_tags-racism","tax_ctp_tags-reconciliation","tax_ctp_tags-relationship","tax_ctp_tags-unity"],"acf":{"scripture_references":[{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null},{"first_verse":null,"add_second_verse":false,"second_verse":null}]},"yoast_head":"\nRacial Reconciliation: Moving Beyond Words - CT Pastors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/preaching\/sermon-illustrations\/racial-reconciliation-moving-beyond-words\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Racial Reconciliation: Moving Beyond Words - CT Pastors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Describing the difficulty of racial reconciliation, one African American church leader tells this story: It was my third year with the ministry. 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