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Redeeming the Passion Within

My soul felt trapped. Trapped in a life that should have brought peace and contentment, but instead brought anguish, depression, and unfulfillment. There was a passion burning inside me that I could not contain, but neither could I release. God kept stoking my internal fire by fueling two deep convictions: 1) our just God abhors the injustices of poverty and racial/cultural discrimination, and 2) as a follower of Christ, I am called, commanded, and expected to do something about those injustices.

Today, my soul knows freedom, and I am blessed to have a career at Community Christian Church that allows me to unleash my passion every day. But that journey of redemption was not a quick or easy one.

Six years ago, I was a stay-at-home mom. A clinical psychologist by training, I had left my career to be home with my two children. My husband, Scott, worked as a regional sales manager and traveled extensively. We had just moved to Naperville, Illinois, or Oz-Land as we called it, because it was such an idyllic place to raise children. By all external measures, we were living the ideal life. So why did I struggle so intensely with depression and constant internal angst? God had laid on my heart the desire to make a difference in the lives of under-resourced people. With a traveling husband and two young children, though, I felt helpless in my ability to do anything significant.

Then, during a hunger-relief meeting, I heard God's profound call. He asked me to be a catalyst to help Christ-followers live out Matthew 25 and be Jesus to the poor. I remember praying, "God, why me? Why not Bill Hybels [the famed Willow Creek Community Church founder] or someone in a position to really DO something?"

After this epiphany, my husband and I spent many months praying. During that time, we became convicted that God was indeed calling our family to a life of service. It was time for a seismic life change. Scott left his company and went back to school to get a degree to teach in low-income schools. I worked part-time jobs to pay the bills and served relentlessly as a volunteer to begin a new ministry at Community Christian Church (CCC). I enjoyed working as a volunteer but still faced many challenges and frustrations. There were the obvious financial challenges (we went from making a six figure income to our kids qualifying for free and reduced lunch). But almost more challenging was the struggle of launching a new ministry when I had no position of influence. Tears streamed and arguments with God raged. How I could ever grow this ministry into the significant, impact making ministry for which he had given me a vision?

Finally, he opened the door. CCC hired me to develop Community 4:12, a ministry with the mission of "Uniting Christians to Transform Communities." We identified an under-resourced community just miles away and began to pray for and develop relationships in that community.

We have now been serving in East Aurora, a predominantly low-income Latino community near Chicago, for the past three years. Scott teaches at a Title I elementary school in the district. Community 4:12 builds partnerships to tackle the educational, social, physical, and spiritual challenges facing the community. We dream of launching a bilingual church. Scott and I are preparing to move with our two elementary-age boys into the community this year so that we can become incarnational in our ministry.

I never would have dreamed that this is the life I would be living. As a woman who thrives on predictability and security, I defied everything in my nature and leapt into a chasm of uncertainty to pursue God's call. Amazingly, though, I have felt no fear - only liberation. Why? Because at long last, my passion has been redeemed.

May01, 2007 at 6:47 PM

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