During this time, a Bible study asked for my definition of success. I pondered what would make me feel successful, and it hit me: Success isn't achieving a particular result. Success is obedience and faithfulness to God–doing whatever he wants me to do, wherever he has put me.
It isn't measured by what I accomplish relative to what I think I should have accomplished, but by how I respond to God and whether I've done what he's asked. Even if what he's asked seems less worthy than what I'd hoped to give him.
I say, "But God, I could do this for you!"
And he replies, "Yes, but will you do what I asked?"
If we accomplish great things in Jesus' name–apart from his leading–they're hollow and they will not last. If we do small things, unnoticeable to other people, because of his leading and out of love for him, those things will have eternal value. We're often proved the most in the smallest things–the momentary choices to follow, step by step, high or low. Of course we should be willing to die for him, but also to live for him however he leads, even if it's not what we'd envisioned. A bigger ministry might bring us joy or allow us to more fully use our gifts, but it won't bring us more success than following him in any other calling.
Still, we're all frustrated when we feel we have more to offer, or gifts that are not being used. When what we're doing doesn't match our passions, we may fear God's letting us go to waste. But God, who started a good work in us and will be faithful to complete it, is growing and shaping us for his purposes in those moments. I heard Jill Briscoe say at a recent conference that sometimes we learn more of God when we work outside our gifts and passions. Indeed.
I didn't go a day that season without learning more of God. Had he given me a bigger ministry when I expected it, would I have sought him so hard, or would I have shelved deep reliance on him until I had another perceived need? Would I have seen the opportunity as a sign of his goodness and love, forgetting he's good and loving even without that? I likely would've thought I'd earned it by my super spirituality. And I might have found my security in that, instead of learning anew to find it in him alone.