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Wounded Leaders Wound Others

The negative effects of leading with unmet intimacy needs.

Have an accountability partner. An accountability partner is someone you can trust. She isn’t afraid to call you on the carpet, hold your feet to the fire, and encourage you to move forward. Hebrews 10:24 says, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”

Seek prayer support. There is a plethora of Scriptures encouraging us to pray for one another. Second Thessalonians 1:11 says, “So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.”

Step away from leadership. This step takes great self-awareness, humility, and maturity. If necessary, for your sake and for the sake of the women you lead, step away from leadership and give yourself the gift of time to let the healing begin. This doesn’t mean that you will never lead or minister again; however, it does mean that you will be able to minister to others from a healthy emotional and spiritual place. So, what would stepping away look like? Many leaders who have needed to step away take an agreed-upon sabbatical, perhaps six months or a year. During this year, it is recommended that you receive therapy to work through the emotional challenges that hinder your ability to have healthy relationships, as well as rest. Resting, both physically and emotionally, is restorative to both your body and soul. Also, finding hobbies that bring you joy brings balance to your life.

Julia Mateer is a writer, speaker, therapist, director of women’s small groups at Bayside Community Church, and author of Life-Giving Leadership. You can connect with Julia on her website. This article is excerpted from Life-Giving Leadership. Pages 129-134. Copyright 2016 by Julia Mateer. Used by permission of Leafwood Publishers, an imprint of Abilene Christian University Press.

June13, 2016 at 8:00 AM

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