Relationships

Who’s Holding Up Your Arms?

Several years ago, when I was just beginning in ministry, I conducted a workshop at a women's retreat on the doctrine of vocation - and I was petrified. It was the first time I put together a comprehensive teaching session, the first time I delivered more than a 15 minute speech, and the first time I realized the value of having solid people to surround me when in a ...

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Leader-Moms Build Better Dads

When my daughter was in kindergarten, she headed off to school one morning with her hair done up in an arrangement that only vaguely resembled a braid. Actually, at the top it looked almost exactly like a braid. But the hairstyle quickly devolved into a loose semi-tangle with an odd dogleg, like a fairway at Augusta National.

The following morning Jessi asked me to please ...

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Loving Those We Lead

If you stay in ministry long enough, you will get hurt. In our small groups and church serving teams we can easily become close friends with those we lead. When hurt and disappointment inevitably comes, it's tempting to throw in the towel and quit, or at least to withdraw from the ones we are called to shepherd. Toxic cynicism can easily seep into our souls.

After ...

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Marriage vs. Ministry?

When I went into full-time ministry, I feared my children would resent church if I gave too much time or energy to it. I had stayed home for 11 years and when my youngest son Trent was in kindergarten, I decided to move into vocational ministry. I began a leadership role at Willow Creek Community Church outside of Chicago. It was a challenging transition, but surprisingly, ...

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Dinner Table Talk in a Violent World

For many of us involved in ministry and leadership positions, our days are full and our brains are fried by the end of the day, when we return home to re-group with our families. Table talk over dinner is an important place to process the small and large, local and global issues of our day.

Last night at dinner, I started to say grace, and I just couldn't say anything. ...

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The Date I’ll Never Forget

It was a Friday night. My husband and I had a "date" with two other couples from the small church where we ministered together. One of the couples was about our age, but the other couple, Willis and Betty, was in their late eighties.

We felt a bit awkward at first. How do you get the conversation started with people more than half a century your senior? But ...

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Working Well with Men

It's almost impossible to talk about gender issues without crashing into all the stereotypes about work-obsessed men, overly sensitive women, and the nasty label that gets attached to assertive women in the workplace. So let me say this from the get go: Each sex has its strengths and weak spots, and the issues we face when we work together are the result of these strengths ...

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