Tiffany Tehan, a pastor's daughter and graduate of an Ohio evangelical college, went missing Saturday, April 17. Local authorities deemed the 31-year-old mother's absence suspicious: her green Ford Explorer was found in a park near her home with a flat tire and the keys in the ignition. Husband David, who was home with their 13-month-old daughter, reported Tiffany missing when she didn't return from a day of shopping.

Family, friends, and parishioners at the nondenominational Patterson Park Church, where the Tehans attend, began canvassing the community with missing persons fliers and search teams. They tirelessly combed the area for days. A highly publicized nationwide search ensued. On April 22, authorities found Tiffany with 42-year-old Tre Hutcherson, also married, at a hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. Tiffany and Tre said they ran away to start a new life.

Media outlets and blogs lit up when Tiffany's whereabouts surfaced. They dubbed her "the runaway mom," questioning how a mom could abandon her child and take such extreme measures to cover up an affair. Some asked why her story in particular made headlines, as men who run away from their families are rarely greeted with such public attention and outcry. Others were just appalled that Tiffany's husband wanted her back.

It's easy enough to indict Tiffany for her poor choices. But her story reminded me of how easily any one of us can tumble into a physical or emotional affair. After all, Jesus said that our lustful looks are spiritually equivalent to committing adultery (Matt. 5:28). And it's not just men or those in difficult marriages who are tempted. Christian women in particular may be less inclined to admit temptations and sins because they predict stigma and humiliation. With Tiffany's situation in mind, I reviewed the disciplines I practice to help me embrace fidelity to my husband of 10 years, Shawn:

(1) Be honest with God, myself, and others. Shawn is my best friend, and we have an extraordinary marriage. Yet should I, on rare occasions, find myself thinking about or attracted to another man, I admit it to myself and to God. I then immediately call my friend Sue to confess. She is wise, gracious, and will keep me accountable. If thoughts were to gain a foothold in my life, I would tell Shawn. Shawn and I have discussed all of these steps.

In addition, if another man hits on me, I immediately tell Shawn and we discuss possible responses. He does the same with me. I've had that conversation with him several times in our ten-year marriage (mostly having to do with men in the workplace).

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(2) Rehearse the consequences of sin. When tempted to mentally dwell on another man, I commence an internal dialogue. I remind myself that if I indulge in the thought of another and do not take my thoughts captive, then I've started down the road to infidelity. Once down that road, I am liable to lose my mind—my judgments would become impaired and I'd rationalize behavior that I'd never dream of justifying otherwise. I also contemplate the effects that unfaithfulness would have on my husband, toddler daughter, and web of influence. Who knows what waves of destruction my sin might unleash in others' lives?

(3) Cherish my husband daily. I intentionally thank God for Shawn every day, and I contemplate Shawn's many wonderful attributes. This discipline is especially necessary if I'm in a foul mood or if we've had a spat. At those times, it is easy for me to focus on what irks me about him. If I start brooding on the negative, I seek to overcome evil with good by dwelling on the good, the true, and the beautiful in my marriage, family, and husband. I also work harder to do little things that express love, thoughtfulness, and consideration.

(4) Abide in Christ. Part of abiding in Christ is communal, so I stay connected to the church through weekly worship, regular acts of service, and meaningful, incarnational interaction with other believers. Personally, I strive to be an obedient, prayerful Christ-follower who is immersed in God's Word. I am keenly aware that I am most susceptible to downfall when I wander away from the Shepherd and Christian community, struggling alone and in secret. I know that faithless thoughts and temptations usually shrivel when brought into kingdom light.

(5) Watch out for external influences. I am a predominantly visual person, so I guard what comes through my eye gate. I avoid fashion magazines and certain websites and television shows. Otherwise, I'm prone to obsess about clothes and visual appeal. Such media foster discontent within me. Also, I do not cultivate relationships with old flames either in person or on the Internet. Nor do I spend much time alone with men, although on certain occasions I've had to ride alone in a car with other men for work-related reasons. Conversely, I thoroughly enjoy my husband, so I try to spend as much time with him as possible; we do a lot of ministry together.

Tehan found herself in a sea of infidelity, undoubtedly pulled further and further away from her family by a riptide of seemingly insignificant yet unfaithful choices. Tiffany told Inside Edition that she didn't think she would be missed. How wrong she was. And how wrong we'd be to believe we are incapable of such infidelity.

Marlena Graves (M.Div., Northeastern Seminary) is a resident director at Cedarville University. She blogs at His Path Through the Wilderness, and has written for Her.meneutics about friendship between men and women, the sin of self-promotion, and same-sex attraction.

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