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Opinion | Sexuality

How to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Christian

Why "he's a really great, godly guy" is not enough.

What do you do if you're engaged but have serious misgivings about your decision, red flags popping up left and right? Do you a) get married, since you've set a date, sent out the invitations, spent a boatload of money, are too embarrassed to back out, and believe that most people get cold feet anyway? Or b) call the whole thing off until further notice? I think most of us would choose the latter, and would recommend thus to any friend or family member having serious doubts. But in practice, it isn't what we many of us do, and understandably so: Calling the whole thing off is difficult, painful, and risky.

Jennifer Gauvain, a licensed social worker and coauthor of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy, recently reported in the Huffington Post's "Divorce" section that 30 percent of the nearly 1,000 divorced women she surveyed admitted to marrying despite serious doubts they had about their relationships long before the wedding day. According to reporter Katherine Bindley, the website IndieBride.com now hosts 33,000 conversation threads just about the urge to bolt.

I did.

I broke off an engagement to a really nice Christian guy. When it came down to it, we were incompatible on many levels. I had doubts at the inception of the relationship, but ignored them. Continuing the relationship was my way of trying to force a puzzle piece into a place it didn't fit. As the doubts grew, I tried harder to make the relationship work. However, if I hadn't heeded my gut-wrenching doubts, and paid attention ...

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