'Your Marriage Is Doomed,' and Other Lies Told to Children of Divorce
When my parents divorced when I was 32—already married for nearly a decade and with two children of my own—I remember thinking, Great. Now, I'm a statistic. My marriage is doomed.
I'm pretty sure any child of the 1970s or 1980s will understand my concern. After all, we grew up hearing about the tragedy of divorce and how all these children's lives would now be tainted. Children of divorce, we were told, were more likely to experience just about every societal horror: from underage drinking to promiscuity to murder sprees, it seemed. But the one statistic I worried about most (after all, I was already of legal drinking age and not exactly tempted by promiscuity or murderous rampages) was the one we heard the most: that children of divorce were more likely to end up divorced themselves.
Of course, eight years after my parents divorce, my husband and I are still quite married. And while those statistics probably were never meant for adult children of divorce, they have become increasingly dubious to me—especially as I've looked around and noticed just how many of my friends from "broken" homes have managed to pull off marriage and family life—for better or for worse.
In fact, in her latest book, MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family, Jennifer Grant, whose father left her family when she was 10, takes those statistics right to task, showing readers that no matter what "type" of family we come from, all of us can create wonderful, healthy ...1