Opinion | Church

How Not to Help All the Single Ladies

Blaming women for their own singleness is about as productive as a 'Cosmo' checklist.

Just over a year ago, I sat at my parents' kitchen table, across from a friend I had known for years. We were both in town for a wedding and catching up on life. Me, my friend, and the bride had seen one another through many years of singleness, and now two of the three of us were married. My friend was the odd woman out.

As we sat there drinking coffee, her eyes filled with tears. She is normally one who keeps her emotions close to the chest, so I knew she was really hurting. She didn't understand why marriage hadn't happened for her yet. Was there something wrong with her? she wondered.

I knew that there wasn't. She is an incredible woman who God has used mightily. She was a staple at the church we attended together, rock solid in her faith, the salt of the earth. All I could think to do was affirm her in those realities.

for some reason, fall 2011 was marked by several conversations like that one. Earlier that month, I had wept on the phone with a single friend as she shared her feelings ...

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