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Opinion | Sexuality

How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex

A more intensive method of birth control reminded me that it’s God who’s in control.
How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex
Image: yohutch / Flickr

If I had found out I was pregnant within the first year or so of my marriage, I probably would have cried unhappy tears and grimly braced myself for the end of life as I knew it. I was fresh out of college, ready to change the world, and not prepared to have kids.

During that year, my husband and I were using natural family planning (NFP), a method of tracking a woman’s fertility signs and abstaining from sex during fertile phases to avoid pregnancy. NFP is commonly considered a traditional Catholic practice, although today a growing number of evangelicals, leadership and lay, are leaning towards it as they rethink contraception. I had suggested we do NFP simply because none of the other contraceptive methods felt right to me. In the process of taking a class and doing NFP, however, the practice took on deeper significance as a type of spiritual discipline.

I think of a spiritual discipline as an intentional way of creating space for God. Different people may find that different spiritual disciplines work for them, and different seasons of life may call for different spiritual disciplines. In that newlywed season when I was wrestling with what it meant to join my life and calling to that of another person, practicing NFP became a way for me to give God the permission to rattle up my life.

I knew what I wanted – to go to graduate school, travel the world, and eventually write books. Having a baby didn’t seem to further any of those goals. It would have been easy ...

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