Stephen Arterburn is the author of the bestsellers Every Man's Battle and Healing Is a Choice. He has also been editor of 10 Bible projects, including the Life Recovery Bible. Steve founded New Life Treatment Centers in 1988 and is currently host of the radio and television show New Life Live. He and his family live near Indianapolis, where he is the pastor at Heartland Church. This week's readings are taken from The 7 Minute Marriage Solution.
What he Said … "Let's Have Fun Together"
When friendship is present in marriage, it differs from sexual love in that instead of the mates focusing on each other, both focus on a common interest. Lovers look at and are absorbed by each other. Friends look together at some interest other than themselves. Competent sexual lovers say to each other, "What can I give to you to increase your joy and pleasure?" Friends say to each other, "Let's direct our focus toward that object or activity we both enjoy. Let's have fun together."
That object or activity may be a game such as chess or tennis; it can be reading together or walking on the beach; it can be a project, such as planting a flower bed, painting a room, or designing a house; it can be a hobby such as restoring furniture or collecting first editions; or it can be something fun, like dancing, attending concerts, or camping. The point is that lovers focus on each other; friends focus on common things they like and enjoy. Both relationships are part of a vibrant and satisfying marriage.