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Combine this with what's going on in the husband at this point. For many husbands, their wife's attention is now shifted from him to the baby. Her decreased desire to touch, cuddle, or have sex may prompt increased pressure from him, which is typically counter-productive. The result is an increasing gap between what he wants and what she wants.

Many couples, whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding, aren't prepared for the multiple changes each baby, especially the first, adds to their relationship. They believe they'll zip through those first four to six weeks and then—poof!—resume their sexual relationship without a hitch. These unrealistic expectations can lead to a great deal of disappointment, frustration, and conflict.

Libido doesn't usually "jump back" to pre-pregnancy levels until several months after a mom quits breastfeeding—sometimes as long as one year after stopping. If couples realize this is common, they can better talk through the timing of stopping, the pros and cons of breastfeeding and bottle feeding, and the adjustments required to adapt as a couple through this time.

More than 60 percent of women must have direct clitoral stimulation in order to climax. In fact, believing a woman should achieve orgasm through intercourse alone is like expecting a man to reach orgasm by only stroking his testicles. Don't ignore the facts of anatomy. A woman's clitoris is similar to the head (glans) of the man's penis. Often the clitoris isn't stimulated by intercourse. If the head of the penis wasn't involved in intercourse, he wouldn't come very quickly to orgasm, either!

That doesn't mean that a guy reaching immediately for his wife's clitoris to "rev her up" is a good idea. Women come in all shapes and sizes—physically, emotionally, and particularly, sexually—so the only safe way to approach her clitoris is to find out what she wants and likes. A rare woman might be okay with "starting" quickly for her clitoris; most will be offended or turned off. Like the penis, the clitoris engorges with blood during arousal. Touching before she's aroused can be unpleasant, or even painful.

Women differ greatly in how they enjoy having their clitoris stimulated, and the types of stimulation can vary during the different stages of lovemaking. It's helpful (and can be fun) for a wife to show her husband how she wants to be stroked by placing her hand over his and actually putting pressure on his fingers to demonstrate where she likes to be touched, how lightly or firmly, and how slowly or quickly she likes the movements to be.

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