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I'm a lousy mother, I thought one morning after a heated discussion with my 16-year-old daughter over a certain video's appropriateness. By lunchtime, I'd replayed our conflict a dozen times. By mid-afternoon, my pity party was full blown: My kids deserve better. Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I'm gonna run away.
Most of us throw a pity party at least once in our lifetime. Sometimes it begins when a relationship crumbles. Sometimes it starts when we compare our assets, appearance, or abilities to others' and feel inadequate or less fortunate.
Before long, joy dissipates like helium from a balloon. Ministry becomes a chore; Bible reading and prayer, a drudgery. Personal relationships suffer. Is this how God wants his daughters to live? Not a chance.
Instead, his plans for us include joy and peace. I'm not talking about giddy giggles when things go well; I mean genuine joy that bubbles from the soul and crashes pity parties before they get rolling.
The Old Testament contains a story about a man who had every reason to throw a pity party, but he refused to do so. His account proves it's possible to cancel the party before it begins.
The Ultimate Party PooperMeet Job—the greatest pity-party pooper of all time. Scripture describes him as blameless and upright. He feared God, shunned evil, and bore a reputation as the greatest man among all the people of the East (Job 1:1, 3). But one day, circumstances soured—he lost oxen, donkeys, sheep, servants, camels, and worst of all, his ten children.
Job grieved, as would any normal person facing unspeakable loss. But his attitude set him apart. As life caved in, he fell on his face in worship and said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:20-21). Is that amazing, or what?
Like Job, we can rise above self-pity, no matter what our situation. When we're tempted to throw a pity party, we can use these four points to check our perspective:
1. Focus on God's Word.Circumstances change, but God's Word remains the same. Its truths overcome worry and fear—two culprits responsible for pity parties.
In 1989, 30-year-old Jan Turner was her church's music minister. She also taught music and fifth grade at a Christian school and was a single mom raising two adopted boys, ages four and ten.
Then pneumococcal pneumonia invaded Jan's body. Within hours she slipped into a coma and for two weeks hovered between life and death. Due to lack of circulation, her limbs were amputated. Jan had to learn how to walk, eat, dress, drive, and cook using prosthetics.
Throughout her ordeal, Jan clung to Romans 8:28-39. She reminded herself nothing could separate her from God's love, and in him, she was more than a conqueror.
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