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"I know what it's like to have low self-esteem, to count on other people to validate me," says Michelle McKinney Hammond, author of the best-selling Secrets of an Irresistible Woman. "My parents went their separate ways when I was two, and I moved around a lot. I guess I was always looking for love and security—with the wrong kind of guys."
It's hard to believe this 41 year old with the sparkling brown eyes, infectious laugh, and dramatic flair for living ever struggled through years of unhealthy relationships in an effort to feel good about herself. After all, today she's a veritable Renaissance woman with a resume that sports the titles writer, singer, speaker, art director, playwright, voice-over announcer, and cohost of the Christian television talk show Aspiring Women. Michelle's finally made peace with being single—and unabashedly loves being a woman. But she's quick to point out her self-worth—and accomplishments—didn't come without a price.
After her parents parted, Michelle went to live with her maternal aunt, uncle, and grandmother in Barbados and lost all contact with her father, George Hammond. Her mom went back to school in England, where she met William McKinney, with whom she fell in love and married. They flew to Barbados to get Michelle and moved to Michigan when she was seven. At 14, Michelle was miraculously reunited with her biological father when an aunt found him on a trip to Africa. He immediately flew to see Michelle and they've been close ever since.
Michelle moved to Chicago to attend college, where she entered a succession of unhealthy relationships. Right after she graduated, Michelle flew to Africa to meet the rest of her father's family. She was intrigued by her grandmother, a devoted Christian who spent several hours a day praying at a nearby church.
Five months after Michelle returned to Chicago, her boyfriend was shot and killed. Michelle was sent into a tailspin. "I was suddenly faced with eternity. In my despair, I longed to know what happens after you die," Michelle says. That search led her to read The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey. While reading it, she began to long for the peace her grandmother in Africa had, and to wonder what she talked to God about for so long. When she read Lindsey's statement, "if you have never asked Jesus into your heart, put this book down and ask him to come into your life right now," she knew this was the answer. Following that prayer, Michelle enjoyed her first night of peaceful sleep since her boyfriend's death three months earlier.
A couple of days later, she met a woman on her bus to work who hounded Michelle to come to church with her. One Sunday she finally tricked Michelle into attending a service with her. When a minister prayed for Michelle during this special service, she was struck by the words he kept repeating: "God loves you so much." After years of desperately trying to earn approval and love in a string of unfulfilling relationships, Michelle learned of God's unconditional, unceasing love for her. "After that day, I had a voracious appetite for everything concerning God. And I've never looked back."
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