My dad had a saying: “It’s gonna feel so good when it stops hurting.”
When I was in fifth grade, after the doctor cast my broken arm, Dad used that phrase. He explained that God made our bones so that after a break a special reinforcement is formed around the area, making it stronger than before. He was right. After the cast was cut off I was back playing flag football and running track. The weeks of painful growth paid off.
As a high school freshman, when I failed to make the Varsity Band, my band director explained that those who made the JV Band would “wood shed” the fundamentals of rhythm and sight- reading, rendering us stronger musicians than before. He was right. The next year I made the Varsity Band, challenging my way to first chair in the trombone section. The two semesters of painful growth paid off.
When I was grieving over a breakup with a high school girlfriend, my mom explained that God made our hearts in such a way that he would reinforce them with his own love. She was right. I graduated, went on to college, grew through a couple more breakups, and finally discovered that God had shaped my character, preparing me for the girl who would later become my wife. The years of painful personal growth paid off.
A few months ago I received a letter that cut me to the quick. It revealed that I had become timid in expressing my faith. My first response was to say, “What does that guy know about me anyway?” and dismiss the criticism. But I couldn’t dismiss it because I knew that person loved me like a son. The phrase, “It’s gonna feel so good when it quits hurting” came to mind. A few days later I found myself thinking, “You know, he was right.” I grew in confidence and began expressing my faith more boldly. That growth was painful, but the days of smarting from the sting of truth told by a friend paid off.
A few weeks later I received some critique about my leadership style from another close friend. At the time I wanted to say, “What does this person know about me?” and dismiss the critique. But I knew that this person loved me like a brother. The phrase, “It’s going to feel so good when it quits hurting” came to mind. Several weeks later I thought, “You know, a lot of what this person said was right.” I learned additional lessons about assertive leadership. A little more pain. A little more growth. The weeks of relational conflict paid off.
The writer of Proverbs said, “My child, don’t ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don’t be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights” (Proverb 3:11,12 NLT). No discipline, criticism, or character correction seems pleasant at the time, but when it results in personal growth, it feels so good when it quits hurting.
Clark Cothern pastors in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
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