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I agree with Thomas Campbell, who wrote, "Better to be courted and jilted, than never to be courted at all."

But courtship is not easy-especially for pulpit committees and candidates. I have compiled seven types of pulpit committee "dates" I've been on.

I had never been on a blind date—until I went into the ministry. The scenario begins with a phone call or letter from some unknown church asking for my resume. Usually I am willing to risk the postage, though the church could just as well be a militia group as an assembly of believers.

Then the church sends me a detailed questionnaire. What is not included, however, is a single scrap of information about the church. I wonder, Is filling out this form a waste of time? I know only the name and address of the church. It's as if the church is saying, "We want to find out everything about you, without telling you anything about us."

One such church had my resume, philosophy of ministry, summary of ministry experiences, and a five-page questionnaire that detailed everything from my favorite doctrines to my favorite sports. I received only three cheery letters from the church secretary. She seemed quite nice, but for all I know, the church was a front for a waste-management plant. The fourth cheery letter told me I was no longer on the list.

Last summer I received a letter, a variation of the blind date: "Dear Reverend, On behalf of the Pulpit Search Committee and the Elder Board, I would like to thank you for your interest in the position of Pastor of _______."

I had never heard of the church, yet I was in the running.

I read on: "A call for the position has been made and accepted, so no further consideration will be given at this time." Well, I thought, that was short-lived. The last clause finished with a flourish: "I hope the Lord provides useful service for you in the near future."

Only once can I remember not paying for a date (even though I was dating during the height of the women's liberation movement). I didn't know how it felt to be on the receiving end of a cheap date—until recently.

While candidating, I once transported two search committee members in my car. The parking lot attendant held out his hand for payment. As I slowly and deliberately fumbled for my wallet, no one moved or spoke.

Are they going to let me pay for this? I thought.

The attendant impatiently gestured for me to hurry, and since I was the only one who reached for leather, I extracted a bill from my wallet. I was glad the delegation hadn't scheduled a dinner with me.

Another time a church I had no prior connection with asked for my resume. A few weeks later, several on the pulpit committee showed up in church unannounced. Later that week, they called and asked if I would come for an interview.

I mentioned I wanted to know more about the church first. The chairman assured me my questions would be answered in the interview.

Since the church was only an hour drive away, I went on the evening of my day off. I mostly enjoyed the three-hour interview. They picked my brain about what God had done in our ministry. They tantalized me by holding up a copy of their five-year plan but wouldn't let me touch the document.

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