Jack and Lois wanted to get married. They also believed God wanted them married. Jack had been divorced five years earlier and had two adolescent children. Lois had never been married but felt certain Jack was "the right man." As they spoke with their pastor about their engagement, they were excited about the future, about the possibilities of being a "real family."

But they also had a number of anxieties. Jack's divorce had made him wary of another marriage, and his children weren't certain they liked Lois. Lois was sure she and Jack should marry, but her family had been cold to the idea. She wanted children, but Jack wasn't sure he could handle "another round of kids."

As a pastor, I see more and more couples like Jack and Lois. People today are as enthusiastic as ever about marriage, and those who have been divorced are even more likely to get married than those who have never married: 83 percent of divorced men and 76 percent of divorced women remarry. And while many ministers offer ...