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Establish healthy boundaries for family and friends. They may offer advice or ask questions that make you and your husband feel uncomfortable and/or criticized, such as, "When are you going to give us a grandchild?" If someone's comments hurt you or your husband, talk it out to make sure you aren't being overly sensitive. Then discuss it with the friend or family member as soon as possible—out of love. If not addressed immediately, feelings of resentment can hurt your relationship with your family and will affect your marriage.

—Name withheld

Don't stop dating each other. Just because you get to be with each other every day doesn't give you license to become couch potatoes. Dress like you did when you were dating. Wear his favorite perfume or hairstyle. Go to the movies, a concert, a hockey game, or even just for a walk or a picnic on the living-room floor. Quality time together doesn't have to cost a lot, but the payoff is huge.

—Suzanne L. Barath, Ohio

It's good to have a system as to who does what household chores. But every now and then, do the other person's jobs. This gives you appreciation for the work your spouse does, and provides confidence that if you ever need to take over that role, you can do it.

—Heather Chaney, Indiana

Recognize that God created you differently. For example, I'm a mellow person with a dry sense of humor. My husband, on the other hand, has a Three Stooges sense of humor. One day I cried to God in exasperation, "Why does he act this way? Why is he so goofy?" God immediately responded, This is the personality I created for your husband. Accepting your spouse for whom God created him to be is key.

—Catherine Smith, New York

Always remember, you can't change your mate; the only person you can change is you. So ask God to help you examine your motives. You may find that making positive changes within you creates the change you were looking for in your mate and your marriage.

—Pansy Crumpler, North Carolina

Nightly, I used to lie in bed waiting for my husband to initiate prayer. When he didn't, I wrestled with whether or not I should do it, since I desired my husband to be our spiritual leader. A friend shared an idea that works beautifully, and we've been praying together regularly ever since. My husband initiates prayer on odd days of the month, and I begin our prayer times on the even days. Now when we crawl into bed, the first words we often speak are "What day is it?" followed by "Dear Lord …"

—Kathleen Groom, Colorado

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian Woman magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Today's Christian Woman.
May/June 2006, Vol. 28, No. 3, Page 64

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May/June 2006, Vol. 28, No. 3, Page 64

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