Isn’t the whole process much more complex than this story indicates?
Although The Perfect Prodigal does simplify the procedure by focusing on one specific aspect of David’s problem, and by condensing a 288-hour experience, it is an accurate and sensitive portrayal of the process of psychotherapy.
It looks as though David puts all the blame for his problems on his mother. Is this a cop-out?
It may appear that “blaming” mom is the goal of therapy and the key to healing, but it really isn’t. The goal and key is to identify and deal effectively with conflict. Realizing that mom (or someone else) did in fact cause hurt is the first step toward that resolution. In a real sense, this “blaming” is saying more about self than the other person. It is admitting honestly that there is hurt inside that must be dealt with consciously. When hostility or a sense of rejection remains unconscious, there is no avenue for reconciliation. If one continues to deny the hurt, he must also deny his refusal to forgive the hurt. A very important theological principle is ignored (I John 1:9-10).
What other elements do you see as necessary for David’s complete recovery?
In anticipating David’s “complete recovery,” let me use the analogy of maturation. Like spiritual maturity, emotional wholeness is a goal. Attainment depends mostly on relationships-to God, others, and self. As David and you and I apply God’s principles of self-acceptance, trust, forgiveness, and love in supportive relationships, we grow toward that goal. That requires spending time and risking closeness.
How do you integrate the psychological and spiritual in your therapy, particularly in David’s case?
The Christian approach to psychotherapy must be a balanced one, blending psychological perspectives with spiritual insights. We generally see both of these contributing to the problems of life, for as psychological conflicts increase, spiritual energy is often compromised. We try to identify the specific difficulties in each area, and then bring healing through understanding, confession, love, forgiveness, and grace.
The process of this healing involves acceptance, exhortation, encouragement, and education. The tools are prayer (even before the person arrives for therapy), loving relationships (reflecting God’s forgiveness and acceptance), psychological insights t (removing barriers to spiritual vitality), scriptural guidelines (to renewed thought patterns and relationships), journal-keeping, meditation, and instruction (to help develop improved self-concept, a deeper relationship to God, and communication skills).
When David was freed from his unconscious anger and feelings of inadequacy, it opened him to see God as a loving, approving Heavenly Father. He was freed to be excited and renewed in that redemptive love–to laugh and to love.
What are the pressures of the ministry that create these problems?
As we saw in David’s story, we often bring our problems with us into ministry, sometimes unconsciously. Then the pressures of ministry-counseling, preaching, time-serve as an abrasive, which scrapes away our defensive veneer revealing the unresolved conflicts within. The specific pressures of ministry that seem most catalytic are those related to our needs for control, independence, acceptance, and sexual gratification. Examine your own areas of conflict. Are they not related to these basic issues?
How many people who come to you have this massive problem?
This is a difficult question, for to each person the load has become unbearable. We see each individual as unique, and his or her problems as uniquely overwhelming. Sensing the weight of each one of those burdens, I would have to say 100 percent!
You don’t seem to be very verbal in therapy groups. What is your role?
Melissa and I understand our roles as objective observers, sensitive probers, unobtrusive facilitators, and useful behavior models. At times, these roles can be fulfilled through nonverbal signals, including silence. At other times, we are directive and instructive in our involvement.
What are the options for a troubled pastor if your seminars are full?
As far as we know there are no programs for ministers exactly like ours, but there are many effective alternatives. These include Barnabas Ministries in Omaha; Chalet I in Buena Vista, Colorado; The Narramore Clinic; the Alban Institute; Personal and Professional Growth Seminars in Nashville, Tennessee; and others. I would suggest that troubled pastors first see what their denomination is providing. Many groups have funded counseling designed to be supportive rather than punitive toward the professional in crisis.
Copyright © 1981 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
