Pastors

How to Keep a Youth Minister

Pastors of high schoolers don’t need to graduate each June.

This issue’s article for pastor-board discussion deals with a universal concern in the church: youth ministry. Again we suggest that you photocopy this article and distribute it prior to a board meeting, so each of you can bring a contribution regarding its content.

Not every church, of course, has a paid youth pastor- but volunteer youth sponsors are just as subject to discouragement and burnout. With a small bit of adapting, Paul Borthwick’s advice will be useful to churches large and small, regardless of staff size.

The youth group at Edgewood Baptist is barely surviving. After the departure of Jim (the third leader in four years), most of the youth are pessimistic. Some, with their families, have started attending the United Methodist church because of its solid youth ministry. Other teenagers have abandoned any aspirations of Christian growth, and they show up at church infrequently.

Jim had come in the fall with high hopes and long-term commitment. Some of the students had been hopeful when he talked about “going with you through high school,” but others were hesitant to believe him. His two predecessors had said something similar.

Jim had intended to stay a long time, but discouragement, a few failures, and a better opportunity on the horizon caused him to give his departure notice in April. Adults were surprised and disappointed; the teenagers mostly shrugged their shoulders as if to say, “Who’s next?”

Jim is not a real person, but this experience could be reproduced across the country every year. Despite Gallup and Poling’s warning that “the future of the church will rise or fall on its success with young people” (Search for America’s Faith, p. 114) and their exhortation that “each congregation should endeavor to have a special ministry or ministries to teenagers” (p. 33), most churches have difficulty keeping any effective youth ministry intact.

Fortunately, there are those who call for (and exemplify) long-term commitment to youth ministry. Some of these veterans have spoken out in interviews in Youthletter:

Bill Stewart, youth minister at First Baptist Church, Modesto, California: “My burden is for men and women in youth ministry who are willing to stick to it for the long haul.”

Dean Borgman, professor, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary: “I am concerned that the church see youth work as a professional, ordainable ministry rather than just a steppingstone to the pastorate.”

Dawson McAllister, national youth speaker and writer: “We need youth workers who are committed to staying in one place for more than a year. This is the only way to communicate love effectively and build the trust that teens need.”

John Musselman, youth minister at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, Fort Lauderdale, Florida: “We have got to be serious about sticking with the ministry for a long period if we are going to see our ministries be fruitful for Christ.”

The underlying philosophy here is that teenagers respond best to relationships that are stable and trustworthy. Anyone who has worked with youth realizes they take a long time to open up to older people. This requires that we build our youth ministries with leaders who are ready to be friends and pastors to their teenagers for several years.

Why the turnover?

One denomination admits its youth ministers change every seven months. Others’ reports are not so grim, but the general consensus is that the average tenure of a youth minister is not more than eighteen months.

On the other hand, veteran youth leaders claim it takes up to two years to crack through to teenagers in effective ministry. So what is happening? Most men and women are leaving youth ministries before effectiveness begins.

The most common reasons for quitting are:

1. “God directed me elsewhere.” Many youth workers are in their early twenties, so marriage, children, or schooling can draw them away from youth ministry. Others feel “led” elsewhere, but this often camouflages the fact that they viewed youth ministry as a steppingstone from the outset. When a pastorate or another church responsibility appears, the youth ministry is quickly abandoned for greener grass.

2. “The church drove me out.” This happens when a church demands too much. When a fellow youth pastor told me he was quitting because he had been working ninety hours per week with junior highs for ten months, I affirmed his decision.

A more subtle push comes when people treat the youth minister (consciously or subconsciously) as a junior minister or a big adolescent. When a well-meaning parent asks, “Do you need any adults to go on the retreat?” or a deacon says, “So when are you going to be a real minister?” youth pastors know they’re in the minor leagues. They may leave in an effort to appear more mature.

3. “I just couldn’t do it.” It is a fact that youth ministry is a tryout area, so failure is to be expected. Some should recognize inability to work with teenagers and get out of youth ministry. Unfortunately though, many quit because they place excessive demands on themselves. They expect too much, and when they fail, they assume it is God’s way of telling them to bail out.

No matter what reasons are given for a youth minister’s leaving, the results are the same. Students get frustrated and even hostile. They feel rejected; they are told in one more way that they are not important. The departure of one leader sometimes guarantees the failure of the next. Teens who have seen several turnovers often approach a new person with an attitude of “Let’s see how long it takes to get rid of him.”

Ten Suggestions

Although longevity itself is no guarantee of success, it will build the effectiveness of most youth ministries. How, then, can leaders in the church encourage the youth minister to stay?

I offer the following suggestions because they have worked with me and because I have heard them repeated by dozens of youth ministry veterans across the country.

1. Affirm the call to youth ministry. It is the responsibility of the lay leadership and the other pastor(s) at a church to remind everyone that youth ministry is a calling. The youth pastor should not be a voice crying in the wilderness.

In affirming the call, church leadership must balance the emphasis between the two terms-youth and ministry.

In Gwen’s church, people overemphasize her call to youth. She is affirmed and encouraged about her ability to work with youth, but she is not considered a full member of the pastoral staff, and she is given few opportunities for ministry to adults. “She’s so great with kids why take her away from them?”

In Kurt’s church, people overemphasize his call to “ministry,” giving him the impression that his work is just a quick course he must complete before he enters real ministry.

The proper emphasis occurs when the church affirms someone as being called to minister to a distinct age group-youth. The church that views the youth pastor as someone equipping youth for the work of ministry will have a happier leader and a healthier program.

2. Make the youth minister part of the team. Many churches have only a staff of two, but even there the youth minister can feel totally left out in terms of his or her role in the church at large.

In Craig’s church, he is viewed as a baby sitter whose expertise is directing teenagers through adolescence. He has few responsibilities outside the youth group, and he never participates in planning or priority setting for the church. No wonder he feels like he works on a lonely island; no wonder he wants to quit.

At Grace Chapel, I am allowed to participate in planning, in worship services, and brainstorming for the future. I am a full member of the church staff, and the youth ministry is constantly exhorted to be an integrated part of our church family. I love to work here.

In the former situation, Craig may become disillusioned or discouraged quickly. In the latter, I am free to realize my part in the church team, and I carry that positive attitude back to my youth and get them excited about being part of the church.

3. Encourage the youth minister to study. If they were asked, “What have you been reading lately?” many youth ministers would hem and haw. With the exception of “Twenty New Retreat Ideas,” many youth ministers never read.

The irony is that most youth ministers are college or seminary-educated. We know effective ministry requires effective study, but we sometimes affirm the opposite.

Some of the ways church leaders can encourage youth ministers to study are:

¥ Go over their schedule and help them see where they can block off study time.

¥ Ask (on a weekly basis), “What are you reading that’s not related to youth ministry?”

¥ Buy a challenging book and read it together.

¥ Ask them to do research projects (related to youth ministry) that will require reading.

Study builds awareness that youth ministry is a profession to be pursued rather than a trial to be endured until someone offers a new job. It also builds expertise on youth. Most important, it often helps to deepen the youth minister’s personal spirituality.

4. Stimulate the youth minister to set personal and ministry goals. Few youth ministers are asking the question “Where will I be in three or five years?” They are too busy developing a “bag of tricks” to increase attendance and stimulate involvement. But when the “bag of tricks” is exhausted, so is the youth minister.

Older pastors and lay leaders must urge the youth minister to think about his or her own future. Very few people committed to youth ministry as a career arrived there because of a haphazard decision. Most, upon personal reflection and self-examination before God, sensed a call to youth ministry over a long term. At that point, they made the decision to stay put until God moved them.

The youth minister must also be encouraged to think long-term regarding ministry goals. When our church administrator asks what my four-year plan is for discipling high schoolers, I am challenged to look at the ministry as a process, not just a yearly program.

5. Give the youth minister opportunity to grow beyond youth ministry. This can include the handling of pastoral responsibilities, the administration of Communion, or occasional preaching (on some theme other than youth!).

One church practices a “major-minor” concept. To prevent stagnation, the church encourages its ministers to have a “major” (principle field of ministry) and a “minor” (a small responsibility in an unrelated field). A musical youth minister could direct the choir one week while the music minister taught youth Sunday school.

This allows the youth minister to grow in new areas, providing stimulation and sending him back 0 to the youth group refreshed.

Not every such opportunity has to be unconnected to youth ministry, but it must serve to stretch the youth minister in new ways. Over the past five years, I have been stimulated by the opportunity to lead youth mission teams. These experiences have stretched me administratively, spiritually, and emotionally. In many respects they are a reward to me as well as a benefit to our church. The church, by allowing me to go on these projects, gets me back refreshed and invigorated for another year of ministry.

6. Give the youth minister opportunity to grow outside the church. My personal convictions regarding longevity in youth ministry have been formed in part by my exposure to many youth ministry veterans at conferences and workshops. These are a source of fresh insights and new resources.

More important than any of the materials offered, however, is the fellowship with others in youth ministry. This helps defuse the Elijah complex (“I, only I am left”). Giving the youth minister freedom and money to attend these workshops yields far more than just a new youth program.

Another opportunity that revitalizes youth ministers is outside speaking engagements. The youth minister who visits other youth groups will usually realize two things: (a) “I’m not doing as poorly as I thought,” and (b) “I’m not as bad a communicator as I thought.”

When I visit another youth group, I often see the same flaws as in my own group. Furthermore, the new audience appreciates me ten times more than my own group, and it reassures me that God is using me.

Ridge Burns, youth pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Illinois, adds another dimension:

I know that there are many experiencing youth worker burn-out. I think that youth workers would not burn out if they would plan their lives with some alternative interests. My wife and I take a three-month sabbatical in missions every four years. Whatever the endeavor, youth workers need to plan their lives so that they are growing. This is the only way that we can stay on the cutting edge of working with high schoolers for long periods, or even for our lives.

7. Guard the youth minister’s personal life. For single youth ministers, the older pastor(s) or lay leaders must help them grow outside of relationships with teenagers. Effective youth ministers can sometimes spend so much time with teenagers that they forget how twenty-two or twenty-six or thirty-year-olds act. Youth pastors need to be encouraged to get peer fellowship and grow as adults.

For the married youth minister, make sure the person is getting quality time with spouse and family. One girl told me that her youth minister at her former church had “open campus” at his house six nights a week. Teenagers could drop by at any time. When I first heard this, I was full of guilt for my selfishness (I protected three nights per week), but when I learned that this man’s marriage was in disrepair and that he had left the ministry, I reconfirmed my protective decision. Other members of the church must recognize the youth minister’s family as a God-given priority and help him or her to do the same.

Both single and married youth ministers must be aware of the “perpetuated adolescence” hazard in our profession. Long periods of time spent with teenagers can sometimes lead the youth minister back into immature or offensive behavior. While some adolescent overtones are inevitable, an excess will render the youth minister ineffective in relating to peers or parents. (I became acutely aware of this when my wife was embarrassed to be with me at a young-adults’ Christmas party!)

8. Encourage the youth minister to lead through a team. Nothing is quite so discouraging over a long period of time as leading the youth ministry alone. Many of us are not the handsome-musicalhumorous-athletic type. Those who are often get disheartened because they become entertainers rather than ministers.

Church leaders can help youth ministers build teamwork by:

a. Funneling volunteers their way. A team of lay volunteers takes pressure off the youth minister as a one-man show. It also puts the youth minister in a more proper perspective of “equipping the saints” to do the ministry. Finally, it enlarges the ministry potential of the youth group, because more people, with their own diversity of spiritual gifts, are added.

b. Pointing out students with leadership abilities. A tremendous amount of growth can occur when students begin to take the lead. Again, it puts the youth minister in a proper pastoral perspective. It also provides a greater degree of ownership for the students. If they have responsibilities, they will feel much more proud of the youth group.

c. Helping the youth minister delegate. The stories are numerous of youth workers who burned themselves out because they refused to delegate. The most successful youth leaders, however, are those who concentrate on their strengths and delegate the rest away. When they get a new idea, they initiate it and train someone else to execute it.

A friend and I both have long-standing youth ministries built on this team concept. For him, it has been hard, because he has multiple talents and could do everything better by leading it himself. He is musical, athletic, humorous, and an excellent teacher. Nevertheless he has built a team-led youth ministry because he knows it is the only way to keep from burnout and to reach a broad diversity of students.

I, on the other hand, had no choice. With no musical ability and no desire for fun-and-games leadership, I had to find people to make up for my weaknesses. I try to concentrate on what I do best, and the rest I give to people who are far more talented than I.

9. Support the youth minister before the parents. In many churches, the youth pastor is closer in age to the high schoolers than to the parents. Parents can intimidate most youth ministers. Older leaders in the church must take an active part in this relationship, teaching parents what can and cannot be expected. The youth pastor must be taken aside as well and trained on how to relate to parents.

The youthfulness of most youth pastors often contains a Catch-22: Because they are young, they make judgment errors at times, but because they are ministers, parents hold them accountable. The result? Increased distrust in parents and an increased fear of making decisions in the youth minister.

I am very grateful for Ben and Alyce, a high schooler’s parents who chose to take me under their wing and advise me as to how I was coming across. At times it was very uncomfortable, but it has greatly helped me mature in ministry.

One final way to support the youth pastor is to avoid the “our success/your failure” syndrome. Older ministers are the most guilty of this, but elders or deacons fall into the trap as well. When the youth outreach reports twenty conversions, leaders are heard to say, “Don’t we have a great youth ministry!” But when Joan gets mononucleosis from staying up all night at the lock-in, the question is “How could you be so irresponsible?”

10. Pay the youth minister relative to responsibilities, education, and experience. If a youth leader is belittled by an insufficient salary, he or she will be forced to consider the head pastorate or some other career simply to survive. The frustration of hours of apparently unrewarding work with teenagers followed by a reminder that there isn’t enough money to pay the bills is too great for most youth pastors to bear. They either leave the ministry or seek a better paying job at another church.

The question for churches to ask is “What is our youth ministry worth to us?” If it is a priority of the church, then budgeting should reflect it. The usual methodology of “How little salary can we get by with?” makes high turnover inevitable.

The Benefits of Longevity.

If church leaders and pastors work on these suggestions, the following benefits may be expected:

¥ Effectiveness with youth will increase because the students trust the youth pastor. Students who have come to me from other churches with instability in leadership say, “It’s just good to know you’ll be here.”

¥ Results (a hard-to-find commodity in youth work) will become more apparent as those who have graduated return to join the youth team. When students come back after two or three years of college and tell how essential the youth group was in their growth, it has motivated me to keep working with teenagers.

¥ Parents will grow in their trust, which builds more continuity between family and youth ministry.

¥ Lay leaders will be trained over a period of time with one consistent philosophy and strategy of ministry. This allows for greater unity and long-term growth.

¥ The youth minister will be a professional who is, in effect, the church’s expert on adolescents.

The need and the opportunity for work with youth has never been greater. Yet effectiveness demands that we build people who are committed to youth for the long haul. The age in which we live, with broken homes, declining quality of education, and increased confusion among teenagers, requires that we construct youth ministries of substance and quality.

Copyright © 1983 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.

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