What some couples want in a ceremony borders on the bizarre.
“Can we include the song, ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game’ in our wedding?”
The question did not catch me off guard. By this time in my ministry, I’ve been asked to make many changes to the traditional wedding ceremony, from “Can we have the wedding at the rodeo?” to “Can another couple be married at the same time?”
Certainly weddings ought to have a personal, even unique, flavor, because God has made each of us with different tastes. Yet, as soon as we begin to explore the innovative possibilities, we have to match them up against some theological criteria to see if they really are appropriate for a Christian blessing of marriage.
Four checkpoints
Here are some questions to consider as wedding innovations are suggested:
Does the addition glorify God and uphold the grace of the gospel? Since God initiated marriage, he should at least have center stage. The ceremony is a time to worship him for who he is, what he has created, and what he has called us to do and be in marriage.
Does it encourage and uphold the values of Christian family? God’s intent for marriage was to put a man into relationship with a woman so they might support one another, encourage each other, and help one another in the task of raising children. This commitment to family should be a factor in deciding what is to be a part of the wedding service.
Does it help us see the God-given uniqueness of the bride and groom? God, in his creativity, makes each person different, and that uniqueness should be celebrated. If an innovation will help the gathered worshipers reflect upon the special way God created the newly married couple, then it bears consideration.
Does it remind us of the value of friends? Friends are the people God has commanded us to love and serve. The body of Christ exists to give us encouragement and to give us that opportunity to serve. Friendships enhance marriage and can be included in the ceremony in many appropriate, innovative roles.
These four questions help us decide if an innovation is appropriate. They can help us determine if, for example, the desired location allows us to draw attention to God’s creation, or if the requested music would elevate the kind of family love God intends for marriage (even if the original singer might have had something else in mind).
Hard calls
I did once marry a couple in the middle of a rodeo arena after the rodeo was over. The reason? Rodeo was their life, and the people in the stands were their friends. I spoke of the glory of God and salvation in Jesus Christ, and raised examples of God’s infinite love in all of life. After the kiss, the couple mounted horses and literally rode off into the sunset. God was glorified in the words of the ceremony, the family was encouraged, and friends were given the place of honor.
By the way, “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” did fit in as the recessional of a wedding for a professional baseball player. As the bride and groom turned to face their friends, without the groom expecting it, the organist began to play. God was glorified in the beaming smiles that brightened his house.
While Christian weddings need to be Christian in character, they need not be stuffy or mindlessly traditional. The little touches a pastor and bridal couple include in the wedding service can point to the variety of ways people reflect God’s glory.
-Edd Breeden
First Presbyterian Church
Santa Cruz, California
LEADERSHIP Summer 1993 p. 27
Copyright © 1993 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
