From Hyper to Holy

Any pastor would forfeit his housing allowance for a handful of people like Brad (not his real name). He attended church faithfully, missing only when sick or out of town. He brought his Bible and listened eagerly to sermons, frequently affirming me when something I said encouraged him. He volunteered for the most mundane tasks. I never heard him complain.

But the longer I knew Brad, the more I wondered. As much as he threw himself into every facet of church life, he somehow seemed spiritually shallow.

One day Brad vented his anger and frustration in my office. “I’m worn out and burned up,” he said. “I’ve given and given, and I don’t feel I’m getting anything in return. I hate myself for feeling this way.”

Together we found that Brad’s service was an attempt to compensate for a deep sense of inadequacy.

Some who seem most committed–even some I would hold up as good examples–prove ultimately to be serving out of their need, not their fullness.

After crossing paths with too many others like Brad, I saw that my task was not to manage their activity, but to help them develop an intimate relationship with Jesus. When people connect with God in an intimate way, whatever God wants for them will then flow out of the abundance of his life within. I contribute more to the kingdom by creating a climate that helps people develop intimacy with God than by leading programs.

Helping people become intimately connected with God is challenging. It’s more than laying out a plan of Bible reading, prayer, and church attendance, as important as those things may be. Techniques will not guarantee intimacy with God. Still, there are some things a pastor can do.

TALK ABOUT JESUS

Just about everything in this age rips away at an intimate walk with Jesus. To get people beyond their guilt and distractions, I try to give them a realistic hope that intimacy is possible. I seed the idea into most of my sermons. In encounters with people, I probe gently, looking for signs of intimacy. “Are you loving Jesus today?” is a question that gets to the heart of the issue. Many people nod or smile or tell what God’s doing in them. But others say things like, “I’m trying,” “Not so well,” or “It’s really a struggle.” When I hear such comments, I then say, “Can I do anything to help?”

One single woman arrived in our fellowship unemployed and emotionally broken. Her psychiatrist wanted to keep her drugged. Over several months of counsel, we encouraged her that Jesus came for each of us, no matter how unworthy we might feel, and he came to do magnificent things in ordinary people. As the message of grace broke through, she began a relentless pursuit of God. She has obtained her teaching credentials and now serves on our church board. When I think of her in a classroom with thirty-two third graders or counseling someone after a church service, I am reminded that Jesus values those who feel unworthy.

HONESTLY MODEL THE LIFE

It isn’t enough, however, to talk about intimacy. An intimate relationship with Christ must be modeled. Nothing helps people desire it more than watching someone else live it out.

Tim, a high school coach in our church, was infectious. Teens who would never set foot in a church packed his home for Bible studies.

One day I asked him, “What do you do to make people so hungry for God?”

“Come on, Wayne,” he said. “You know as well as I do: making people hungry is not a matter of doing something, but being something.”

A single evening of spontaneous sharing can turn someone to God. Eugene Peterson makes a startling conclusion in Under the Unpredictable Plant: “Who are the people who have made a difference in my life? Answer: The ones who weren’t trying to make a difference.”

When people see us only in carefully orchestrated moments, they don’t see how we meet the daily challenges of life. I discovered how effectively God uses openness one Sunday morning. We had a number of new people, and about thirty minutes into the service, a young woman stood up. Six months earlier her second child had been stillborn. Through sobs, her words came clearly: “I am still mad at God for killing my baby.” That was it. No wonderful application of God’s sustaining grace–just raw anger and wrenching pain.

I hate to admit it, but my first thought went to the visitors: What are they going to think? But people moved alongside her with love. Someone shared a Scripture about God’s reaching down to touch pain like this. Someone else led out in a chorus. Suddenly our worship service had become real with God, and his presence came upon us.

Now I encourage people to be honest and sincere, even when it hurts. God can use an open, honest environment to heal the real issues in people’s lives.

FEED THE HUNGRY

I can burn out trying to light fires in those who have little interest in letting God guide their lives. It’s easy to spend hours with such people, propping them up, easing them through another week.

But I’m not called to prop up the complacent; I’m called to feed the hungry. It’s easy to overlook the spiritually hungry, however, since they rarely make demands on my time. But I’ve found it more productive to spend my time with them.

That may sound as though I’m neglecting needs. I’m not. The best thing I can do for those with no spiritual appetite is to surround them with people hungry for the Lord. Seeing others excited about God might spark something within the complacent, motivating them to seek to know Jesus better.

OFFER NO SUBSTITUTES

It’s clear from the Old Testament that people repeatedly will choose substitutes for God. Church programs can become substitutes. On occasion I’ve allowed myself to become a God-substitute: “Be sure to be here next week. You really need what I’ll be teaching.”

Now when people seek my advice or share their concerns, I ask, “Have you prayed about this? What is God saying to you about this need?”

After their blank stares, I’ll suggest biblical passages to show that God wants to speak to them. “Go home and pray again,” I’ll say. “Ask God to show you what he wants. Worship and pray, preparing your heart to listen. Then stop and wait for God to speak. I want to know what thoughts come to mind in those moments.” Most leave without much hope God will actually speak to them, but they usually come back with God-given insights.

One young man asked for advice. Should he take a construction job that offered a greater salary or take a job teaching wood shop that offered greater satisfaction? I sent him off to listen to God. He never came back. Instead he called me as he rushed off to his new job. “I did what you said, and God showed me I give in to fears too easily. I felt he wanted me to take the job I desired.” Fourteen years later he’s still teaching wood shop–and pursuing Jesus passionately.

GIVE IT TIME

Intimacy in any relationship grows out of unharried moments. My best moments with my wife, Sara, come when our lives have slowed down enough that we can enjoy each other. It is no different with God. He wants us to lie down in green pastures and leads us beside still waters. We do not see him best from frenzied activity.

A church I’ve been helping on the East Coast, over 160 years old, was filled with conflict. They lost people and almost everything except Sunday morning services. Now they are rebuilding with an eye toward intimacy with God and community with each other.

Recently I bumped into one of their leaders. “For the first time in our lives we’re having fun at church,” she said. “We enjoy having real friends in the body of Christ.” For years she had been absorbed by church activities. Now she and that congregation were enjoying a new spiritual intimacy and growing in Christ.

That’s the kind of fruit I want from my ministry.

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Wayne Jacobsen is pastor of The Savior’s Community in Visalia, California.